I'm Fluting as Fast as I Can

It's Been A Long Time

2012-01-30T20:46:00.000-05:00

In the middle of packing and running around trying to get things done before leaving tomorrow for the NAECED Tapestry 2012 Conference I went down to church to attend the Music Skills class our Director of Music holds on Monday nights at 6:00 p.m. It's only the second one I've been to in the two years or so that he's been running them. He asked me if I'd come last week and play for this past Sunday's bilingual service.

Sunday was the first time in a very long time--years--since I've played my flute for church. It's a good bet that I'll be doing so again. Even though I felt a bit nervous, I enjoyed playing with others again.

This evening we didn't have any service music to practice. Richard wants to put together a couple of hours of dance music for some evening in the future. Since it was just the two of us for the first part of the session, we worked through a couple of songs. At one point he asked me to play an F scale, and I went totally blank. "How many sharps in F?" I thought to myself. Ummm... try one flat. Once I showed him I could play the scale, he told me to try improvising while he played the melody of the piece we'd been working on.

Improvise? ME?? AAAAAAAA!

But I did. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't awful either. No judgment, just encouragement.

Richard also asked me about my knowledge of chords. Having not been a music major or minor, I never reached the point of taking any music theory classes. I picked up bits and pieces here and there, but there's a whole lot I never learned. It looks like I'll be learning some now!

I'm looking forward to being part of the music program at church again. It will be nice to play regularly with other musicians again, something I haven't done in a long time.

Another Vanishing Skill

2012-01-26T15:05:00.000-05:00

Last Sunday at the parish annual meeting I was elected to be Clerk of the Vestry. I've been taking notes at Vestry meetings for the past few months as well as some other parish-wide meetings. I'm also the secretary of the National Association for Episcopal Christian Education Directors board.

These days I take notes on my laptop because I type quickly enough to capture most of the conversation. I'm able to do this because I learned touch typing in 9th grade. At one time I typed 100 words per minute accurately, and it took some time for me to learn to just type and not worry about typos and other mistakes while taking notes at meetings. The purpose is to capture the conversation and important actions. The notes themselves can be edited after the meeting.

Over the years my typing, along with my other administrative and organizational skills, are what often got my foot in the door when looking for a job. As I've been involved in my current job hunt I've been noticing that some organizations no longer require a typing test, even for administrative jobs. However, there are still many that do. Given how many executives and managers do their own typing, it isn't typing skills so much as editing skills that assistants need. And with the growing prevalence of tablet computers, not to mention smart phones and electronic readers, touch typing is rapidly becoming a lost art. You really can't touch type on a touch screen "keyboard." So why does any organization really need to give typing tests to applicants these days?

Schools stopped teaching shorthand years ago. And the teaching of handwriting is also falling by the wayside in this era of new technology. So how does one take notes in classes or meetings?

Maybe we need a touch screen shorthand. Or maybe a simplified version of the court stenography system for touch screens.

I'd be particularly interested in hearing from folks from younger generations about how they take notes. I may not be an early adopter, but I'm always ready to learn new ways of doing things as technology changes and adapts.

The Bible Challenge

2012-01-19T23:26:00.000-05:00

So Bishop Douglas decided to participate in the Bible Challenge and invited Bishop Curry, Bishop Ahrens, and the Diocesan staff to join with him. Then an invitation went out to the entire Diocese via their Weekly eNews. You can read more about the background of the Challenge in the diocesan article.

Lois, our priest, brought the Challenge to the congregation, first to Holy Needles, our prayer shawl ministry, and to the monthly Practicing Prayer group. She then sent an email to the parish, which we posted on our Being Community blog to provide a place for conversation. Some of our members have undertaken the challenge. After looking at the various options, I chose the Chronological Reading Plan from One Year Bible Online, one of the resources recommended by The Center for Biblical Studies.

The movement in the Episcopal Church seems to have begun with the Rev. Marek P. Zabriskie, rector of St. Thomas Episcopal Church, Fort Washington, PA. Its roots, however, are deeply entrenched in the Evangelical/Fundamentalist streams of Christianity. The One Year Bible originated with Tyndale House Publishers, and the One Year Bible Online site uses that name with permission from Tyndale.

I've provided lots of links here, so you can go peruse all of this for yourself.

I have mixed feelings about participating in this whole enterprise, but it has been a long time since I read through most of the Bible as a participant in Education for Ministry(EfM). I chose the chronological plan in part because of my experience in EfM. And I find it really interesting that an organization that appears to be fairly Evangelical/Fundamentalist in its outlook provides a plan for reading the Bible that doesn't follow it strictly from the traditionally accepted order of books. It seems even some of the more conservative Christians are engaging in a bit of one or more of the historical critical methods of looking at the Bible.

So I guess we'll see where this goes.

Now We Are Two and Fifty

2012-01-12T23:55:00.000-05:00

This is not where I thought I would be today. On my last birthday I didn't think I would still be unemployed a year later. Of course, there was a point in time when I didn't think I'd live to see 40, let alone 52. So I am definitely ahead of the game.

This evening was the first of four celebrations--a quiet dinner with a good friend. Sunday I'll gather with a group of friends to celebrate two of our birthdays. The following weekend another gathering of friends for my birthday will not also be for Christmas, Hanukkah, and the Solstice. And I look forward to a quiet dinner with family.

I have been, and continue to be, incredibly blessed by my friends and family. With them, I face my 53rd year with hope and confidence.

Mom and The Solar Oven

2012-01-04T22:27:00.000-05:00

I've often told stories about Mom wanting to know about something and then heading off to the local library to find every book she could on the topic. I'm sure family members can tell similar stories about me. Now of course, we all turn to the Internet.

Solar energy was a big topic in the late 60's and early 70's. Mom was intrigued by the thought of cooking using solar energy. She found information about making a solar oven. I remember paper patterns, thick Styrofoam, cardboard, and aluminum foil. I don't remember if she ever got it to work. I tried again a couple of years later for a 9th grade science project. I don't remember if I got it to work either.

Another project attempted and half forgotten.

So imagine my surprise to see today's post on The Tiny House Blog: Global Sun Oven an Option for Tiny Houses? Somebody actually manufactures them, and they look very similar to the ones Mom put together almost 40 years ago. However, at a retail price of about $300, I don't think I'll be running out to buy one tomorrow.

Two New Additions and A Bit of History

2012-01-02T21:25:00.000-05:00

This year, well actually, last year, I received two new additions to the Nativity collection.

Mom and Bill gave me this one in October. They found it in an antique store. It has no markings on it of any kind. It could be one of those paint it yourself projects, but I don't think so. It has an Eastern European feel to it.

For Christmas my annual Christmas Date Leslie gave me this retablo from Peru. If you look closely, you can see that it tells a lengthier version of the story than most.

On the right is the Annunciation, on the top is the Nativity, and on the bottom the flight into Egypt. I think the Wise Men are represented by the three figures on the right of the bottom section. And the mirror in the middle puts you in the story. All of this in a piece that is 5 1/2" wide, 8" high, and 1 1/4" deep.

This type of retablo is a traditional Peruvian art form. A history of its roots can be found in this Wikipedia article. It focuses primarily on the development of the Mexican tradition where it evolved into a type of religious painting often called a lamina. You can read a little about that tradition in this short article. In Peru the art form took a different turn that included not only religious themes but local folk ways and political stories as well. You can learn about the Peruvian tradition in this article.

A Theological Reflection for Advent 3

2011-12-12T11:07:00.000-05:00

For many adults attending church, the only Christian Formation/Education they receive is during the sermon. Our priest does this in a variety of ways. Sometimes she incorporates elements of Godly Play and Catechesis of the Good Shepherd into her sermons. Other times she does an interactive sermon, often using a form of Theological Reflection based on the methods we learn in Education for Ministry.

I got to a stuck place several times preparing my sermon for yesterday and started thinking about adapting the Godly Play Advent lessons to do with the congregation. But that got complicated in terms of what I'd need to bring and where I'd actually present it. Still contemplating my options, I looked up at the mantlepiece where I put out a few of the nativities from my collection, my eyes stopped on one that proved to be ideal for a theological reflection.

Here is what I presented to the congregation. We had some really good converstion.

I wonder what your thoughts might be?

= = = = = = = = = =

May the Words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, our strength and our redeemer. Amen.

It’s the third Sunday of Advent, and I’m preaching. It’s a tradition!

And why do I preach on the third Sunday of Advent, Tevye the Dairyman might ask? Well I’ll tell you, he would continue. I don’t know, but it’s a tradition.

For those of you who don’t know Tevye, he is the narrator and main character of the musical Fiddler on the Roof, which is based on the short stories of Sholem Aleichem. Sholem Aleichem was a contemporary of Mark Twain and came from the Ukraine region of Russia. Fiddler is the story of life in Anatevka, a shtetl, or small town in Russia, where everyone’s lives are rooted in traditions.

I had a whole sermon prepared about the traditions of Grace Church and how today’s reading from Isaiah serves as a lens for us to view those traditions. But the more I thought about it, the less it sounded like something we, including myself, needed to hear today in the middle of Advent. So I brought something from a tradition that legend says goes back to Saint Francis and was probably brought to the Americas by the Spanish. This particular one is from Peru and is called a retablo.

I’m going to pass this around, so you can all look at it, touch it, hold it, examine it. While you’re doing this, I’d like you to think about these four questions:

What is the world like here?

What can go wrong in this world?

What challenges us in this world?

What could fulfill the promise of this world?

Don’t worry about remembering them all, I’ll repeat them once you’ve all had a chance to see the piece.

What is the world like here?

What can go wrong in this world?

What challenges us in this world?

What could fulfill the promise of this world?

When we look at our modern culture, what does it how does it view this world we’ve been talking about?

Drawing from this conversation, what are some of the things we believe? What positions do we hold?

What does this mean for us when we walk out those doors and return to the world?

Heading South

2011-11-10T22:57:00.002-05:00

I managed to pack everything in the purple knapsack. How much do I really need for two nights away from home? If I can go to Ireland for two weeks in a carry on... The only thing I ended up leaving behind that I would have liked to have brought was a crochet project. Fortunately, I have plenty to read loaded onto my Kindle. And if I forgot something important, it's not like I'm in the middle of nowhere for the next couple of days!

The shuttle arrived to pick me up at 3:40 a.m. In our family we refer to these early morning departure times as 0 Dark 30. I completed the security screening by 5:05. Then I sat and waited for my 7:00 flight to Atlanta. Fortunately, Delta has set up areas with small tables for plugging in electronic devices. So I checked email, updated Twitter/Facebook, and started today's blog post.

The flight left on time, and we arrived in Atlanta early. I think it was colder in Atlanta than it was in New York City! After a short layover, I flew to New Orleans where I met up with three other board members. We shared a van to Christ Church Cathedral where we met today and will be meeting tomorrow.

This is the first time I've been to New Orleans. Several years ago I sat on the tarmac for an hour or so on a plane bound for Houston that had been diverted due to weather. But that doesn't really count as having been to New Orleans. And I won't be seeing a lot of it this trip, since the reason for being here is the National Association for Episcopal Christian Education Directors (NAECED) board meeting. What I have seen is a city still recovering from the flooding after Hurricane Katrina. Many houses are still boarded up. Many are still being rebuilt and restored.

We are staying at the Double Tree on the edge of the French Quarter. Our annual conference will be here in February, so part of our meeting will be taken up with planning for that event. We walked about six blocks to the Oceana for dinner, which was wonderful. Good food, good conversation. We walked back on Bourbon street--noisy and lively, though not as much as it will be in a couple of months! Even so, there were a few folks standing on balconies throwing beads to tourists walking along. I now have a strand of Mardis Gras beads tossed to me on Bourbon Street in New Orleans.
It's time to turn in. It's been a long day, and tomorrow will be a full one. Sleep is a good thing.

Can You Even Call It A Marriage?

2011-11-02T22:16:00.000-04:00

Over the past couple of days upcoming divorce of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries has received almost as much coverage as the pre-primary election campaigns. It's receiving about as much coverage as the wedding did. And what a wedding it was according to all the media accounts.

But was it a marriage?

Some say that the whirlwind courtship didn't allow enough time for the two to get to know each other before wedding. Male bovine droppings! I know of couples who wed less than two months after meeting and remained married for more than 40 years, until the death of one spouse. I've also known couples who dated for years before tying the not and ended up divorcing less than a year after the wedding.

No matter how long the courtship, a wedding is a social event; a marriage is a commitment. How much of a commitment did you make if you throw up your hands and toss in the towel at the first bump in the road? It takes work to make a marriage.

You may ask what I as a single man know about marriage. A single gay man at that. I spent 11 1/2 years with the same man. At that time marriage wasn't an option for lesbians and gays. But we exchanged rings, combined our households, and built a life together. We slept in the same bed right up to the very end. There are many reasons the relationship ended, and I take my share of the responsibility for its failure.

Sixteen years after we separated he is married to a man who seems to be good for him. They've made commitments, helped raise a child, and built a life together.

While I've dated off and on, I remain single. Sometimes that happens. Should the relationship come along that merited it, I would get married. Hopefully, I'd do a better job of it the second time.

But there are many individuals and groups who would deny me the legal right to marry. Because marriage is between a man and a woman. Even if it lasts only 72 days. Or Britney Spears' 55 hours. What hypocrisy!

Marriage is essentially a civil contract. It existed long before Christianity arrived on the scene. Even then, it was centuries before the church decided it should be part of the contract--primarily because church and state were hopelessly intertwined. They still are when it comes to marriage, especially in this country. Stop trying to equate civil contracts with religious belief.

It is not the church's business to enforce a civil contract. Should the church be involved in supporting the relationship of two people in a marriage? Absolutely! Bless them, provide a community of support for them, help them through the milestones of their life together.

I'm Dreaming of A White...

2011-10-29T23:31:00.000-04:00

Well, it probably won't be a white Halloween, but it certainly is early for snow of this magnitude. They did break snow records all over the place, but that wasn't hard to do. Other places definitely got hit harder than we did here in this part of Connecticut. And I hear there was almost a foot of snow not all that far north of here.

So I can admit I was wrong. The storm was worse than predicted in some places. And in spite of all the pre-storm hype, many people were caught unaware--at least to hear the news reports.

Trees down, power outages, transportation delays, and slippery driving conditions. These are not unusual for a winter storm. Just because it's October doesn't mean we don't know how to cope with winter weather. We may not like it, but we know how to cope with it.

Well, most of us anyway.

Honestly, what is so important that you would risk your life, and the lives of others, not to mention those of emergency workers, to drive with unsafe road conditions? And if tree limbs are falling all over the place, why are you even risking going outdoors?

Sometimes I wonder if we've forgotten how to slow down. Are we so afraid of time alone or with our families that we have to be doing something not at home?

Board game anyone?

The Hype Man Cometh

2011-10-28T21:27:00.000-04:00

IT'S COMING! IT'S COMING! don't panic. RECORD SNOWFALL EXPECTED IN THE CITY! 0.8" maybe. IT'S COMING! IT'S COMING!

Fully half the evening news focused on the coming storm, what the City (New York City) was doing to prepare, and what people were flocking to the stores to buy before the storm arrives. Can round the clock news coverage be far behind?

We've gone from the information age to the too much information age. Does a Nor'easter really merit this much news coverage? Honestly, we did just fine with "just the facts, ma'am" when I was a child. I suppose we should be grateful that it hasn't been labeled "The Storm of The Century."

Yet.

On the other hand, the impending storm has taken the media's focus off the incessant bad mannered posturing of Republican presidential wannabes.

Shawls Plus!

2011-10-15T21:29:00.000-04:00

I planned on walking down to church this morning for the gathering of our shawl ministry, but I had extra stuff to carry and ended up driving. I'll walk down tomorrow.

I FINALLY finished two shawls I've been working on for two months--one knit and one crochet.

Pattern: Cozy Mohair Wrap: Free lace Shawl Knitting Pattern (www.abc-knitting-patterns.com/1120.html)
Knit using Size 13 needles with one+ skeins Caron Simply Soft Dark Sage

This pattern was a bit of a stretch for my knitting skills. I had to count stitches at the end of every row, and I did a lot of unknitting and picking up of dropped stitches. I learned a lot in the process.

Zig Zag Shells Stoll (patbythehook.blogdrive.com)
Crocheted using a Size K hook with three skeins of Red Heart TLC Essentials Aran. I made it a little longer than the pattern called for, and I think it turned out nicely.

My friend Rachel donated some yarn leftover from a project she completed, so I whipped up a quick cowl using an N Size hook and a pair of fingerless mitts using a J Size hook. The mitts work quickly, so I made both of them in during our gathering this morning.

When we gather our conversations meander through a many different topics. Today we talked about the fact that we don't really have a name. I've been calling it Grace's Shawl ministry on the parish web site and the parish Facebook and Twitter accounts. Given that most of our members come from Iglesia Betania and Grace Episcopal Church, and that we want to be open to anyone, we gave it some thought. Also, we're creating more than just prayer shawls. Our deacon came up with a suggestion that we all liked: Holy Needles. Brochures in Spanish and English and a listing on the Prayer Shawl Ministry site coming soon.

1600 Steps to the Library

2011-10-12T17:26:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I arrived early for our Education for Ministry seminar at St. Paul's Fairfield. Since I hadn't yet taken my walk for the day, and I had 45 minutes before the seminar started, I walked then. Before starting out I searched my iPod for an audio book I'd downloaded. I eventually found it hidden in the Music section of the menu, but while looking I stumbled across the Fitness menu. I knew it was there, and I sort of knew what was on it, but I never really looked at it before.

It has a Pedometer. Not only does it count my steps, it records the total number for each day and tracks it on a calendar. How cool is that? All my favorite music AND a Pedometer in one nifty gizmo. I'm currently going through my music to create a walking Playlist of songs that will keep me walking at a steady pace.

So it took me 1600 steps to get to the Norwalk Library--approximately 15 minutes--this afternoon. The closest branch of my bank is probably less than 400 steps beyond that, as is the Post Office. Within that 1600-2000 step radius are also a small grocery store, a CVS Pharmacy, Dunkin Donuts, a couple of convenience stores, a laundromat, a variety of restaurants, a couple of liquor stores, H & R Block (where I get my taxes done), and the hospital. Oh, and my church. It's probably about 4000 steps to the South Norwalk train station, and I'm thinking that 5000 steps or so would probably get me to the nearest Shop Rite, Stop & Shop, and Barnes & Noble.

It's not New York City, but it is an urban area. I could really cut down on the use of my low-mileage but aging car. Not does walking help keep me fit, but it could help cut my expenses.

Now if I could find a job within a 10,000 step radius, or allowed me to work from home...

National Coming Out Day

2011-10-11T22:47:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe that the event that inspired National Coming Out Day occurred nearly a quarter of a century ago. The March on Washington October 11, 1987. I wanted to go but didn't, and I don't remember why not.

I do remember the debate over the number of people who did attend. The National Park Service gave a significantly lower figure than the one the organizers gave. That's a debate that followed most marches on Washington. I would guess that it is also taking place in reporting of the Occupy Wall Street movement.

Why? Because so many people see numbers as the indicator of the impact of thee kinds of events. Concrete facts leading to concrete results. But the true impact transcends facts and figures. How do you measure the impact these things have on individual lives? How do you measure transformation?

When I started Coming Out in 1980 the Wisconsin Gay Rights Bill was still a year-and-a-half away from passage, and 46 states still had sodomy statues on their books (Wisconsin wouldn't appeal theirs until after the civil rights legislation became law). The idea of legal marriage wasn't even on the horizon.

And look where we are today.

So do we still need to observe National Coming Out Day?

Yes. Discrimination still happens, just as it does for women and ethnic minorities. Because sexual orientation is not a visible characteristic, many folks still claim they know no queer folks. Over and over again legislators and religious leaders have talked about how their views have changed by hearing real stories from real people. And in spite of the digitalization of our social interactions, face to face sharing of stories still has the most impact.

Face to face sharing of stories still has the most impact. Something to remember as we consider where we go from here. In any movement.

Disruption

2011-10-03T17:39:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I noticed some cracks in the ceilings in the bathroom, the kitchen and the little room. I let the management company know, and someone came to look. They came Saturday to patch, and I'm still waiting for them to come and paint.

In order to prepare, I had to clear the top of the the fridge and the high shelf in the kitchen. I also cleared the shelves and the top of the dresser in the little room. All of the stuff in the bathroom; the chairs and lamps from the little room. And everything is stacked in the only place it could go. The large room, which is my living room/bedroom.

I've tried to place stuff as neatly as possible, but it's still unsettling. I feel as if boxes and movers are showing up at any minute. As if I didn't have enough uncertainty in my life during this period of unemployment and job hunting.

These, too, shall pass.

Mittens and Cowls and Scarves, Oh My!

2011-10-01T23:40:00.001-04:00

With a hats and ear warmers too!

When the members of Grace's Shawl Ministry talked about hats and scarves for the homeless I thought, "Aha! That piece can be a scarf!" So I finally finished the piece of knitting that was my first real knitting project in almost 40 years. Because I misunderstood the pattern, I ended up with a ribbed piece. So I put it aside and started over. Now it's finished.

If I was going to make hats and scarves, shouldn't I make gloves or mittens, too?

When I was in elementary school Mom knit a pair of green mittens for me. I managed to keep them for several years, and for many of them, a piece of red yarn patched a hole in one of the thumbs. Well, I'm not ready to knit mittens yet, so I set about looking for a pattern for crocheted mittens. There are far fewer crochet patterns for mittens, but they are out there. I finally settled on this pattern from the Red Heart site.

Since I tend to crochet tightly I usually have to use a hook that's a size or two larger than the pattern calls for. I did a swatch with the suggested hook size for this pattern, and to my surprise, I came up with a swatch that matched the pattern gauge. "I must be getting better at the tension," I thought to myself. The next project proved me wrong. I haven't adjusted my tension, but I obviously found someone who crochets like I do!

This set is done using three skeins of Red Heart Super Saver Shaded Dusk. The mittens and the hat (the first pattern on this page) are done with an I size hook. I crocheted the scarf using a size K hook and a pattern of alternating three single crochet and three half-double crochet across each row. I like the wave pattern.

Winter set #2: Cowl, headband, and mittens. The mittens are the same mitten pattern, but a smaller size, using Caron's Simply Soft Chocolate. The headband is a simple pattern of rows of single crochet done in the back loop, which makes a ribbed piece with some stretch. It's Caron's Simply Soft Paints Sunset. The cowl uses both, with the Chocolate as the main color. I did it as a mobius strip, which intrigued the group this morning. I may be teaching a crochet class!

Winter set #3. Did I mention how quickly these work up? The mittens take me a couple of evenings, the hat another, and the scarf a couple. These are made using a single Caron One Pound for all four pieces. I like this color (Cape Cod Blue) so much that I may make some mittens for myself using it! I used a size J hook for the mittens, because the adult men's mittens using the I hook were just a shade too small for my hands. I'm trying to make a variety of sizes for both men and women that we can take to shelters or have on hand if someone comes into the office looking for warm things.

I may be making more mittens and fewer hats, as other folks have been making hats. But I also like the cowls since they can be used as a scarf or a hood. We'll see.

So here's the green scarf again. It became part of Winter set #4 with the addition of a head band done in Red Heart Super Saver Artist Print and fingerless mitts in Caron Simply Soft Chocolate.

And here are the winter sets bundled up for delivery.

Now that I know I've done mittens, there are couple of slightly more complex patterns I'd like to try. And I haven't stopped working on prayer shawls. I have three going, one of which is almost finished. The other two, well, we'll see.

Summer Birthdays

2011-09-24T23:45:00.037-04:00

One of my circles of friends gathers for birthdays and winter holidays. Sometimes for birthdays we plan something special for the birthday person, and sometimes we just get together for dinner. Today, on the first full day of Fall, we celebrated the Summer birthdays with dinner at the recently opened Cheesecake Factory in the Danbury Fair Mall. We spent the hour wait, which we knew there would be, catching up.

This particular circle of friends also tends to exchange gifts when we celebrate birthdays. Since I've been doing a lot of crocheting lately, I decided I'd give handmade gifts this time. And rather than wait for the Hanukkah/Christmas/Solstice gathering, I figured warm gifts before the cold weather set in would be good. So here is the hat I made for Mike. It's pretty basic--half double crochet using a size I hook. I've finally figured out a way to make the seam less noticeable when I'm not using a pattern that works in the round.

This is my first cowl, which I gave to Lisa. It's a Möbius strip done in half double crochet. I used a Red Heart Super Saver color called Artist Print. I really like the way it came out. It's wide enough that it can be pulled up to be a hood, too.

And here's Lisa modeling her cowl. So much of the knitting and crocheting I've been doing for the past months has been for Grace's Shawl Ministry, so I don't really get to see what I've made on the recipient. I wasn't quick enough to get a picture of Mike with his hat on.

I already had this set aside to give to Rachel at the winter holiday gathering, but she has a couple of work-related events that will probably be before we actually have our get together. I've done this pattern before for the Prayer Shawl Ministry, but this is a single color (Caron Simply Soft Iris). For some reason, it shows a bit more blue in the photos I took than it is in person. This particular shawl is pretty versatile--it can even be scrunched up and worn as a scarf.

Now I need figure out what I'm going to do for the the Winter Holiday presents. I have a few ideas. I've been working on some of them, learning new techniques in several of the different crafts I dabble in. There have been some failures, but each one helps me learn.

And if nothing comes together by the Holiday gathering, there are always gift cards!

I Forgot Number 6

2011-09-21T12:10:00.000-04:00

Another Bottom Up shawl using 1 1/2 Skein TLC Essentials Falling Leaves, a Size P Crochet Hook, and done in Double Crochet.

And this past Sunday we blessed the completed shawls. You can read about it on the Grace Episcopal Church Outreach Blog.

It’s Not a Spectator Sport

2011-09-04T14:35:00.000-04:00

Twelfth Sunday after Pentecost
Year A Revised Common Lectionary – Proper 18
Exodus 12:1-14, Psalm 149, Romans 13:8-14, Matthew 18:15-20
Grace Episcopal Church, Norwalk, CT

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O God, our strength and our redeemer. Amen.

When I first pulled the readings for this Sunday I had no clue how I was going to pull a sermon from them. The origins of a holiday that isn’t really ours, a Psalm with a dark side, Paul reiterating in his own way Jesus’ Great Commandment, and Jesus himself telling us how to do reconciliation. What do you do with those? Well, actually, you can pull several sermons out of them, but it takes some work.

Sermons are a lot like the shawls being created by the participants in Grace’s Shawl Ministry. In that ministry we’re given a set of instructions—or we find some. But being given the instructions doesn’t knit or crochet the shawl. We have to choose yarn for the shawl and obtain knitting needles or a crochet hook. And does the shawl knit or crochet itself then? Nope. We have to pick up the needles or hook, take the yarn and do the actual knitting or crocheting. After a while you have to stop staring at the reading and your notes and start writing because the sermon isn’t going to write itself.

During my recent stay at Holy Cross Monastery I was reminded that crocheting without television, radio, or social conversation can be a time of prayer and contemplation. So while I was in the contemplating the readings phase, I spent some time crocheting, and a phrase came to mind that shed some light on the readings as a group.

Life is not a spectator sport.

Let’s look at the passage from Exodus. God provided leadership for the Hebrews: Moses and Aaron. God plagued the Egyptians with several ecological disasters and was getting ready to visit one last catastrophe upon them. In preparation, God gave the Hebrews a set of very explicit instructions. But here’s the thing. In order for this whole Exodus thing to happen, the Hebrews had to participate. They couldn’t just sit there and wait for someone else to do it. They had to be an active part of their own deliverance. Otherwise, their own firstborn would have died that night. And more than that, if they hadn’t followed the instructions, packed up and followed Moses out of Egypt, they’d still be there.

We do have a similar history involving our own parish. Grace Episcopal Church was founded over 120 years ago by members St. Paul’s on the Green who were unhappy with the direction that parish was taking, such as the Anglo-Catholic reforms sweeping through England and the United States. If those folks hadn’t petitioned the Diocese to form a new parish, raised the money to build a new church, and walked down the hill to their new home, there wouldn’t be a Grace Church.

Life is not a spectator sport.

Psalm 149 starts out pleasantly enough. The people sing, dance and play instruments to praise the Lord. Then it turns to the people wreaking vengeance on others as part of God’s judgment. That’s something that makes liberal and most middle of the spectrum Christians uncomfortable. But it is in the Bible, and Psalm 149 is just one example of it. It’s not what we like to hear about God, wreaking vengeance. But God didn’t carry out His judgment alone. It is the people that have to “inflict on them the judgment decreed.” And even the worship and adoration in the first part of the psalm are about active participation. The timbrel and the harp don’t play themselves. Just ask the members of our music program!

And if we want to have a place to worship, that takes work, too. When we invited Betania to join us here in our building, they did not want to displace the Haitians, as had been done to them more than once. Instead, they refurbished the space in the Undercroft that had been our Children’s Chapel at one time. In fact, they cleaned and refurbished the whole Undercroft for the whole BetaniaGrace community.

Church is not a spectator sport.

In Paul’s day Christians expected Jesus to return at any moment. But did that mean sitting around and doing nothing? No. In today’s reading from Romans Paul tells them to put on the armor of light and live honorably. Yes, we are already forgiven and blessed by God’s grace, but that doesn’t mean sitting on our duffs and doing nothing. It means our lives should be changed in some meaningful way. And we should be DOING something.

And in Matthew’s Gospel today Jesus’ tells us that being the church in the world is not passive. Even to effect reconciliation among its own members requires doing something. Getting up and reaching out to the other person.

Christianity is not a spectator sport.

We keep wondering why people are not walking through the doors of our church, but when we walk out those doors, most of us simply go home. Times have changed. We no longer live in a society that expects church membership as a given and just being here on the corner of Mott and Union Park isn’t going to bring people through those doors.

Things aren’t going to change by us sitting on our duffs. God has given us leadership with vision. God has given us some instructions, although each of us may have different parts of them, and they certainly aren’t as clear and concise as those the Hebrews received for the Passover. One thing I do know, nothing will happen if we do not actively participate in the work of being a church. Of being Grace Episcopal Church and Iglesia Betania.

Doing something will mean not only doing those things we know how to do, it means learning how to do new things too. It’s what we do in the Shawl Ministry. Some of us have learned to knit. Some of us have learned to crochet. We’ve learned new skills in order to participate in this ministry. A ministry that reaches beyond the walls of this building.

Ministry is not a spectator sport.

My friends, our future is uncertain, as uncertain as the future the Hebrews faced when God called them out of Egypt. While we know the end of their story, they did not. They could only act on their faith. We don’t know the end of our story, but we can do no less. Act on our faith. Act.

It’s not a spectator sport.

We're Not Dead Yet

2011-08-30T12:36:00.000-04:00

Thursday I drove up to Holy Cross Monastery for EfM Mentor training. Our time there was cut bit short by the approaching hurricane so that people who came by train could get home before the system was shut down at noon on Saturday. And the monastery closed the guest house at 2:00 p.m. that afternoon. My neighborhood weathered the storm pretty well, but even now there are many areas that still don't have power restored and others that remain, or are now being, evacuated due to flooding. Irene's effects will be with us for some time to come.

Now that Irene has come and gone and things, at least for me, have pretty much returned to normal, I've had some time to reflect on my time at Holy Cross. I enjoy spending time there. The setting is spectacular, the food excellent, and the hospitality outstanding. I also appreciate this particular mentor training because many of the same people attend every year, and I'm not the only queer person there. As intense as the training can be, it is still very much retreat time, and I come back renewed and ready to start the new year of EfM.

I drove up a little early so I could spend some quiet time at the monastery. For most of the time before training started I sat on the Great Cloister overlooking the Hudson River and worked on one of the prayer shawls. Crochet as meditation. Sometimes I forget how relaxing it can be to just sit and crochet. No TV. No radio. No conversation. Just me, the crochet, the scenery, and my thoughts and prayers.

That afternoon my thoughts drifted to Grace Episcopal Church and the ongoing conversations we've been having about our future. And I had an insight. We need to change the language we've been using in the conversations. We are not dead yet. We're not even DYING. We are STRUGGLING.

How we talk about ourselves affects the way we operate. The parish isn't ready for hospice care just yet. And while I know I need to respect the feelings of those who just wish it were over and the doors closed, I'm not sure they understand that it's more than just turning out the lights and closing the doors. Hospice care involves work. It involves not only taking care of the dying person, it also means taking care of the person's family and friends. And those caring for the patient. It is not a passive process for anyone involved.

So where does the struggle take us? I don't know. I only know that we can't go back to what we once were. Even if the church were full every Sunday and the Sunday School classrooms were bursting at the seams, we still would not be the same church we were in 1950, 1960, 1970, or even 1980. The Church has always been evolving. What we have now looks nothing like the Church of 90, 300, 1000, or 1900. The Church isn't dead yet. It's not even dying. It's just changing as it always has.

As Bishop Curry prayed with us last week: “Dear God what are you calling us to do and be in this new community?”

Knitting, Crocheting and Fluting

2011-08-20T00:29:00.000-04:00

Last week I was over at Mom's for lunch. I did a load of laundry. We got caught up. And after lunch we sat at the table and knit. She had two projects going for Grace's Shawl Ministry, one that needed more focus and one that could be done while engaging in conversation. I was working on the shawl with the small square pattern and talked about one or two ideas I had for the next one. Mom pointed out that there was no reason I couldn't have more than one project going at a time.

Mom, you created a monster! By the time I finished the knit shawl I'd also finished the green crocheted shawl and started two others, one knit and one crochet.Once the knit one was finished, I started another knit one with a slightly more complicated pattern that I'd found online. I had to look up a couple of the stitches, but it didn't seem to be too difficult.

Wrong. First, I had to learn a new method of casting on, which took several tries. Then I had to see if I could actually do the new stitches. That actually didn't take very long. However, once I started working the actual shawl things got complicated. The alternating increases and decreases were hard for me to keep track of and end up with the same number of stitches at the end of each row of knitting. Three times I got to the seventh or ninth row and had to tear the whole thing out , and I unknit rows several times. Finally, I realized that I had to go slowly and really focus on what I was doing.

I had a similar problem with the new crocheted shawl I'd started. It isn't a difficult pattern, but I kept finding places where I'd skipped a space or added a block. While it's easier to tear out rows of crochet, it's no less frustrating. Again, I forced myself to slow down.

So this morning I was practicing my flute. I've been using M. A. Reichert's 7 Daily Exercises for Flute. My friend Jonathan recommended them and told me that they should be played slowly and musically. Given the copy I had (which I've since replaced) and the change of key every line or so, slowly is the only way I can play them, although I am improving. I also only play one during a practice session rather than all seven. And they are musical, much more interesting to play than the Taffanel Gaubert exercises. After I finished my Reichert exercise for the day, I moved on to a new Daily Exercise from Fredrick the Great's Flute Book: 100 Daily Exercises for Flute. No, I don't play all 100 daily! Since it was a new exercise, I played it through a couple of times and then began working on it measure by measure. Slowly.

I was having a little trouble with one of the runs and started to get frustrated. That's usually the signal for me to stop what I'm working on and move on to something else or end the practice session for the day. Today it sparked a realization. I get so caught up in the technical aspects of playing the instrument that I forget that the purpose is to make music. Sometimes you have to tell your inner perfectionist to go to his or her room and just play for the joy of it.

And I need to keep reminding myself that the purpose of knitting or crocheting something is to create something beautiful and/or useful. Especially when I'm learning new stitches and patterns. Especially since there are now five projects in my needlework tote.

Mr. Inner Perfectionist, go to your room!

My Rocker

2011-08-15T00:24:00.000-04:00

I tried several different ways to photograph the first prayer shawl I made. Spreading it out on the floor didn't work. Hanging it on a hanger seemed too sterile. Laying it out on the bed got it lost on the pattern of the bedspread. Then I tried arranging it on my rocking chair. It not only felt right, it displayed the shawl to its best advantage for a picture. So the rocker became the display stand for taking pictures of the shawls.

I've had this rocker since I was 15. I remember when we went to pick it out at the unpainted furniture shop on Route 1 in Westport. I don't remember if I paid for it out of my babysitting money, or if my parents bought it for me. Either way, it sat in my room for many months before I finished it.

Finally, I picked out a stain for it and then began sanding. It's not the most intricate piece of furniture, but the turned pieces took some time to get to the smoothness that felt right. Then I stained it and sealed it.

We had another wooden rocking chair in the house. It had been made for my great-grandparents. We know this because it was signed and dated on the underside of the seat. I decided I wanted to do the same for mine, so at some point in the process I took the wood burner and put my name and the month I finished it on the underside of its seat.

The rocker has been in my home ever since, with the exception of the years I was away at college and graduate school. I've sat in it to read, crochet, pray, look out the window, and now knit, too. The plaid cushion is a relatively recent addition from a day trip I took with my friend Rees about 10 years ago. Most of the time it also has hanging over the back a prayer shawl given to me by my friend Elizabeth, a shawl/lap rug I crocheted, and a red and black alpaca wool poncho from Ecuador. And right now, my craft tote is sitting on it with the completed shawls waiting to go to church next weekend and the shawls I'm currently working on.

In our family we have an expression, "It's a knew-me." It refers to something that has been around for what seems like forever. Sometimes it's something downright ugly, like painting that hung in my grandparents' home for years. Sometimes it's beautiful, like the silver coffee and tea service that belonged to my grandmother's cousin that Mom occasionally used to serve us tea when we came home from grade school. And sometimes it's something like my chair. All of them are familiar, filled with memories, and comforting.

What are the knew-me's in your life?

Prayer Shawls Four and Five

2011-08-13T23:29:00.001-04:00

Today I finished two more prayer shawls. The knitted one I've been working on since I finished the last one. The crocheted one I began Thursday night. To the left is the first attempt, and you can see the dropped stitch. When I tried to fix it I created a real mess and ended up tearing out about 25 rows and starting over. It also gave me a chance to correct the pattern. I made a lot of mistakes knitting this shawl, but in the process I learned quite a bit about knitting. I unknit a lot, and I picked up dropped stitches.

I got into a jam when I dropped a stitch shortly after joining the second skein. Fortunately I was visiting Mom, and she helped me get back on track. She also gave me a pair Honey's (my maternal grandmother) metal needles because she thought I might have an easier time because the yarn would slide better on them than on the bamboo needles I was using. Evidently I knit the way I crochet, tightly.

And here's the completed prayer shawl. The block pattern turned out well, if I do say so myself. I kept a tally of the rows, so I would know when to change the knit/purl sequence. Mom also gave me one of Honey's stitch counters. Now I have knitting needles and a counter from one grandmother and crochet hooks from the other.

Learning to knit continues to be an exercise in keeping my inner perfectionist locked in the basement.

I decided I didn't want to do fringe on this one. It's a tedious process. Instead I crocheted an edging on each end. I based it on one I found online, but it was pretty much of an experiment. Another learning process, which involved some tearing out and redoing.

Here's a close up of the edging, and you can also see the block pattern in more detail.

Caron Simply Soft
1 1/3 Skein
Dark Sage
Shawl - Size 13 Needles
Edging - Size K Crochet Hook

One of the things I've found working with the Simply Soft is that the shawls seem narrow. Although, these two that I've knit are within the measurements I've seen for prayer shawls. I'll be looking for patterns that are a bit wider for upcoming projects.

This is the crocheted shawl. It's a Bottom Up Shawl without Point that I found on the Crafty Beaver blog. It worked very quickly.

TLC Essentials Worsted Medium
Dark Thyme
1 1/4 Skein
Size P Crochet Hook
Double Crochet

I'm already working on shawls six, seven, and eight.

Mercury Retrograde

2011-08-06T23:57:00.001-04:00

The Lavender Country and Folk Dancers board met today in the Northampton, MA area. Some of us went yesterday to go to the Greenfield contra dance that one of our members called last night. As it turned out, I drove from my friends' home to Greenfield by myself.

About halfway to Greenfield I realized I'd left my cell phone at my friends' house. I had a slight moment of panic. What if I got lost? What if...? It wasn't all that long ago we'd get in the car and drive for hours to get from Point A to Point B without a phone in the car. If we got lost, we found a gas station and asked directions, or at least a map. If the car broke down, we found a pay phone or flagged down a passing motorist. Of course, one of the results of the explosion of cell phone usage is that pay phones have all but disappeared.

Today I got home after the board meeting and discovered that I left my Kindle at my friends' house. A few text messages and they were able to find it, and we figured out how to they were going to get it back to me. At least I had my cell phone!

If you don't know much about astrology, the planet Mercury affects communication, technology, cars, and the like. A planet is in retrograde when it appears to be moving backward through the skies (it's really just on the other side of its orbit). And when a planet is retrograde, it affects things negatively. Especially Mercury. Things in general just seem to go wrong when Mercury is in retrograde, which happens about three times a year.

I hadn't realized Mercury was in retrograde until I saw something on Facebook this evening. Phone. Kindle. And the check engine light coming on in the car just as I got to Bridgeport on the way home.

So it might not be the influence of Mercury, but it sure seems like something or someone is having fun stacking the deck against me this year.

Prayer Shawl Number Three

2011-07-26T16:58:00.001-04:00

This one took me less than two weeks to complete. I don't have to think quite as much when I crochet because I've been doing it a lot longer than knitting. This one is entirely half double crochet stitches using a size P hook. I used three skeins of TLC Essentials Falling Leaves. Using multi-colored yarn is always a surprise since you're never sure how the pattern will present itself in the finished piece. I think this one turned out well.

The Future of The Church?

2011-07-20T20:49:00.004-04:00

Today another diocese, my diocese of Connecticut, announced the elimination of six positions. An additional position vacant due to retirement is also being cut. The diocese will merge some responsibilities into the new position of Canon for Mission Leadership. In the release Bishop Ian Douglas was quoted:

There is profound sadness in these cuts... We are losing faithful and dedicated colleagues who have served us all so well for many decades. We need to pray for these fine sisters and brother who are losing their jobs in these difficult economic times. At the same time these cuts represent a loss of an ideal for what the Diocese of Connecticut has been. 20th century models of the Church with big diocesan staffs providing programs from a centralized office are not the way of the future.

The eliminated positions include both the Missioner for Children & Adults and the Missioner for Youth & Young Adults. I worked with both these people during my tenure as both the Program Assistant for Children's Ministries Christian Education and Officer for Children's Ministries at the Episcopal Church Center.

The Diocese of Connecticut is not the first diocese to eliminate its Christian Formation and Education staff, and it will probably not be the last. Some of the dioceses' rationale for being able to cut Christian Formation positions was that parishes could count on the Formation staff at the Episcopal Church Center. At the same time, the Church Center has already eliminated two formation positions and put the filling of another on hold pending the newest phase of the ongoing reorganization.

Nor are dioceses the only institutions cutting formation and education staff as part of balancing their budgets. Many parishes are doing the same thing, either cutting the positions entirely or reducing them to half time. So this is the future Bishop Douglas is talking about. Fewer and fewer educators and formation leaders able to devote their full-time energies to the formation and education of Christians. More and more volunteers taking on those responsibilities. Of course, there is nothing wrong with volunteers. But where will these volunteers go for training, resources, and support with no one at the diocesan level and fewer overworked staff at the denominational headquarters to provide services for them?

This is a time of incredible change and possibility," said Bishop Douglas. "We're being invited to consider how to be the Diocese of Connecticut in new ways for the 21st Century. Our 20th Century models of diocesan staffing are no longer appropriate to this networked age, nor are they financially sustainable. This reduction in force gives us a chance to respond creatively to the changing economic and organizational realities. We are being invited to re-imagine who we are as the Episcopal Church in Connecticut and how we will come together collaboratively to serve and extend God's mission."

In the course of this re-imagination, the church basically seems to be outsourcing by default to publishing companies and non-profit organizations. To be fair, this process has been going on for more than 20 years, and not just in the Episcopal Church. But do the denominational and diocesan organizations really want to totally abandon input for Christian Formation and Education?

Unfortunately, I don't think the church knows the answer to that question. The denominational, diocesan, and parish organizations are too caught up in the immediate financial crisis to think about the long term ramifications of their decisions. Just as many of them did not think through the long term ramifications of financial and other decisions made during years of declining attendance and pledges.

One of the ways the church is attempting to deal with a changing world is to shift its focus to mission. For years we focused on ministry--the ministry of all the baptized, of every Christian. In some ways this is an attempt to emphasize the importance of community work (mission) over that of individual work (ministry). In other ways, it's trading one buzz word and fad for another.

Ultimately, however, this is not an either/or proposition. Both mission and ministry are important. Both have their roots in our Scriptures. It is both/and. But no matter which way Bishop Douglas, or the larger church structure, wants to look at it, there is no way to get street level people involved without formation and education. Unfortunately, they are eliminating from their organizations the very people who know how to reach those people, who know how to "respond creatively" and "re-imagine in the face of change."

And where does that leave the future of the church?

Reorganizing The Reorganized Reorganization

2011-07-19T19:18:00.003-04:00

It was bound to happen, but I didn't think it would happen so soon. According to Episcopal Cafe's The Lead, the Rt. Rev. Stacy Sauls, himself recently appointed as Chief Operating Officer for the Episcopal Church Center, has appointed Sam McDonald as the new Director of Mission. You can read the full story here, but I particularly noted this from Bishop Sauls' communication with the staff:

I realize that you as the staff have been working on this for some time now. There has been a great deal of trial and error, which has not always been comfortable or felt safe.

And this:

Working for the Church should not be a spiritually damaging experience. In fact, I think it should be joyous. I don’t intend to work anywhere that isn’t, and quite frankly, I don’t think you should, either.

Maybe this time there's some hope for some positive and realistic change at the Church Center.

There is much I could write, but right now I need to sit with my thoughts. In the meantime my prayers are with my former colleagues as they enter this next phase of reorganization.

Two

2011-07-13T23:59:00.000-04:00

After one false start, which will probably end up as a scarf, and two-and-a-half months after finishing my first one, I've finished my second shawl for the Grace Church Shawl Ministry. It is the first complete knitting project I've done since I was 11 or 12.

Knitting has an entirely different rhythm than crocheting, and each can be soothing or frustrating in its own way.

Kintted using size 13 needles and Caron Simply Soft Pagoda.

The Long And Winding Road - Living in The Question Mark

2011-07-12T13:39:00.002-04:00

I had planned to write more posts on this series, but then I wrote the following in my sermon for last Sunday:

This week I find myself in a place where I strongly identify with Esau. Some of it has to do with being an older son, but mostly I’ve been put in the role of the metaphorical big brother over and over. I’ve watched those younger brothers and sisters receive blessings and inheritances I will not. I have seen them go places I cannot. Next year, next month, next week, or even tomorrow, I might find myself interpreting the story of Esau and Jacob differently. Neither interpretation is wrong. They are reflections of where I am in my life and how that affects the way in which I tell my story of being part of God’s creation.

It's time to move on from this series, as it is time to move on from other things.

For eight-and-a-half years I had the opportunity to work for the Episcopal Church in a number of roles as part of the Christian Formation staff. It was a unique place from which to observe the institutional church. I have seen the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. But mostly, I see an institution that I don't want to be chained to by the clerical dog collar. And quite frankly, I have a lot more power as a lay person who can work outside the hierarchy. Especially as a queer person.

What am I going to do now? I don't know. I'm still involved in Christian Formation at my parish and with the National Association for Christian Education Directors (NAECED). Professionally, it's more than likely I'll end up in an entirely different field building on "the skills to run a small third world country" (as my last boss at the Church Center commented after my position had been eliminated). In terms of ministry, I will continue doing those things that I have been doing, and I will start looking at some of those things I've felt inhibited from doing both as an employee of the institution and as an aspirant for Holy Orders.

I drew this map in March during a series on Sharing Our Stories I led at our parish. It ends with a question mark. And for now, that's where I'm living. In the question mark.

Jacob the Sneak

2011-07-10T15:40:00.001-04:00

Fourth Sunday after Pentecost

Revised Common Lectionary Year A, Proper 10

Genesis 25:19-34

Grace Episcopal Church, Norwalk, CT

Loving God, you call us to be your stories in the world. We come before you seeking to be touched by your story. Open our lips to share our stories with one another and open our hearts to bring comfort, inspiration, joy and laughter to each other. Amen.

“Isaac loved Esau, because he was fond of game; but Rebekah loved Jacob.” Does this sound familiar? It does to me. When we were growing up Scott and I each claimed, only half jokingly, that our parents loved the other brother best. Then came the year when Scott brought Maureen up from college to meet the family, and I arrived with Brian in tow for the same reason. For many years after that the family joke was that our parents loved Maureen and Brian best.

Sibling rivalry is nothing new, and anyone with even a passing knowledge of the Bible is familiar with its stories of siblings living in the various parts of what one friend of mine calls Jesus’ big, fat, dysfunctional family tree. But how many families do you know that hang their dirty laundry out for the world to see? And yet, that is exactly what the writers and editors of the Hebrew Scriptures have done. Not in terms of Jesus, although we Christians have done enough of that in our own Scriptures and traditions, but definitely in terms of their own history. Who celebrates ancestors who are not, shall we say, the most upstanding examples of human beings, especially when measured against their own laws and traditions?

Yet those are the very stories that have been passed down and repeated through the generations. Cain the murderer; Joseph the spoiled brat; Rahab the prostitute; Sampson the lustful; David the Adulterer; Ruth the foreigner; and in today’s reading, Jacob the sneak.

A sneak? The great patriarch of Israel? The man God names Israel, the father of a nation? Well let’s look at the story.

During her particularly difficult pregnancy Rebekah goes to God to ask why. It is God, after all, who, in response to Isaac’s prayers for his barren wife, “granted his prayer, and his wife Rebekah conceived.” She asks him directly, "If it is to be this way, why do I live?" God responds by telling her that "Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples born of you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the elder shall serve the younger."

Yet Jacob feels the need to maneuver Esau into selling the birthright due to the oldest son by tradition, even though God has already promised that Jacob is the favored child. Once again we have a younger son favored by God. What is it with the writers of Scripture and younger sons? Let me tell you, as an older son, this kind of stuff makes me nuts. On the other hand, the word games used in this story mean that it is as much about tribal rivalry as sibling rivalry. The Hebrew that describes Esau as red and hairy plays on the location and name of a neighboring tribe, the Edomites.

Ralph Milton writes:

In many tribal cultures a sense of what is right and wrong depends on who is doing what to whom. If you can [needle] someone from another tribe, that’s just fine. In fact, it’s your responsibility to do that if you can. The Israelites told with relish, how their Jacob [hoodwinked] those slow, stupid Edomites. We think it reprehensible of Jacob to cheat Esau, but the Israelites would have considered it downright traitorous not to rip off another tribe, provided you could get away with it. (http://ralphmiltonsrumors.blogspot.com/2008/07/preaching-materials-for-july-13-2008.html, as of July 8, 2011)

So here we are back to Jacob the sneak.

Why do I call him a sneak? Because, in spite of the fact that this story is probably as much about two tribes as two brothers, it’s the story of the brothers that has come down to us as Christians, not the tribal story. And there are a few pieces of the story that we aren’t even going to hear because of the way our lectionary is laid out. The part of Genesis we’ll hear next week is the story most of us know as Jacob’s Ladder. There are three, count them, three whole chapters between today’s reading and next week’s. We won’t read about famine causing Isaac to move his family a number of times and repeat many of the things that his father did. Nor will we read a few short lines about Esau’s wives. Nor the story of Esau and Jacob that we’re probably most familiar with.

And that’s where we learn just how much of a sneak Jacob can be.

Isaac, now going blind, calls Esau, his favorite son, and says, “See, I am old; I do not know the day of my death. Now then, take your weapons, your quivers and your bow, and go out to the field, and hunt game for me. Then prepare for me savory food, such as I like, and bring it to me to eat, so that I may bless you before I die.” Rebekah happens to overhear them, and she quickly goes to find Jacob, her favorite son. She tells him, “Go to the flock, and get me two choice kids, so that I may prepare from them savory food for your father, such as he likes; and you shall take it to your father to eat, so that he may bless you before he dies.” Jacob points out that he isn’t hairy like Esau, and his father, though blind, will be able to feel the difference and curse him instead. As we might say today, Rebekah has an App for that. While the dish is cooking, she dresses Jacob in some of Esau’s clothes and puts the skins of the slaughtered kids on his hands and the back of his neck.

But doesn’t that make Rebekah the sneaky one? Okay, I’ll give you that one, but Jacob goes along without protest. Not to mention he’s already manipulated Esau into selling his birthright for a meal of bread and stew. Not a particularly fair deal, if you ask me. So he comes by it naturally. He takes after his mother.

With the preparations complete, smelling and feeling like his brother, Jacob goes to his father and fools Isaac into believing that he is Esau. And so Isaac eats and then gives his younger son the blessing that should have been the older son’s. Now Jacob has not only his brother’s inheritance, but his patriarchal blessing as well. What was it we heard God say before these men were born? “The elder shall serve the younger." So why did Jacob find it necessary to use deceit to obtain what he has already been promised?

Jacob the sneak, indeed.

No sooner does Jacob depart from his father’s tent then Esau returns from his hunting, prepares a savory dish, and takes it to Isaac, who realizes the trick. Can we blame Esau for saying to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are approaching; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” Unfortunately, he says that out loud, and again Rebekah overhears something not meant for her ears. And again she runs to her younger son, warns him of his brother’s intention, and sends him off to her brother in the land of her birth. (Genesis 27)

And so Jacob the sneak runs off in the night.

But before we get to the story of the ladder, there’s a slightly different version of the blessing story, which many scholars believe comes from a different source. Here Isaac calls Jacob to him and blesses him and then sends him to his mother’s family to find a wife there rather than marry one of the Canaanite women from the land where they are currently living. (Genesis 28:1-5)

So we have Jacob the sneak, and Jacob the dutiful son. Two traditions placed in tension for our reading, reflection, and interpretation.

This week I find myself in a place where I strongly identify with Esau. Some of it has to do with being an older son, but mostly I’ve been put in the role of the metaphorical big brother over and over. I’ve watched those younger brothers and sisters receive blessings and inheritances I will not. I have seen them go places I cannot. Next year, next month, next week, or even tomorrow, I might find myself interpreting the story of Esau and Jacob differently. Neither interpretation is wrong. They are reflections of where I am in my life and how that affects the way in which I tell my story of being part of God’s creation.

You will have your own reflections and interpretations. How do they affect the way you tell your story of being part of God’s creation? Can we share those stories with each other? I invite you to do so, ending as I began:

Loving God, you call us to be your stories in the world. We come before you seeking to be touched by your story. Open our lips to share our stories with one another and open our hearts to bring comfort, inspiration, joy and laughter to each other. Amen.

Get Your Head out of The Sand, Rowan*

2011-07-05T17:47:00.000-04:00

The chickens have come home to roost.

The shoe is on the other foot.

England is now being treated as a mission field by the self-proclaimed true Anglicans. Almost two weeks ago The Fellowship of Confession Anglicans announced the inauguration of The Anglican Mission in England (AMIE):

AMIE has been established as a society within the Church of England dedicated to the conversion of England and biblical church planting. There is a steering committee and a panel of bishops. The bishops aim to provide effective oversight in collaboration with senior clergy.

The AMIE has been encouraged in this development by the Primates’ Council of the Fellowship of Confessing Anglicans (GAFCON) who said in a communiqué from Nairobi in May 2011: “We remain convinced that from within the Provinces which we represent there are creative ways by which we can support those who have been alienated so that they can remain within the Anglican family.”

The Archbishop of Canterbury has finally, in his usual wishy-washy style, responded. And as usual, Episcopal Cafe's The Lead has good coverage. Be sure to read the comments. I'm sure they're having a field day over at that place I refuse to go read.

I've often referred to this whole mess as the tempest in the Anglican teapot. Well now it seems that the Archbishop's teapot is about to boil over. The poaching is about to begin, and Rowan is still trying to steer the middle course over the edge of the cliff. With this happening in his own back yard, will he finally see the dangers of the Anglican Covenant? I doubt it.

The ball is in your court, Rowan, and the match is yours to lose.

*Yes, this post is full of cliches. They're cliche's for a reason.

Celebrating Six Months of Unemployment

2011-07-01T12:38:00.000-04:00

The Long And Winding Road - Part 3

2011-06-28T22:22:00.000-04:00

And then there's the "gay thing," the elephant in the living room.

In spite of the fact that the Canons of the Episcopal Church state

No person shall be denied access to the discernment process for any ministry, lay or ordained, in this Church because of race, color, ethnic origin, national origin, sex, marital status, sexual orientation, disabilities or age, except as otherwise provided by these Canons. No right to licensing, ordination, or election is hereby
established. CANONS III.1.2

there seems to be an unofficial hierarchy in many dioceses, and queer folks are at the bottom. We are grilled more thoroughly about our personal lives than even the most promiscuous single heterosexual men.

For a long time in my diocese there was an unofficial don't ask don't tell policy in place. When I first applied for postulancy, Ledlie (my rector) and I wondered about the fact that I edited the newsletter of my Integrity Chapter, and Bishop Coleridge, as Bishop of Connecticut, was on the mailing list. Ledlie spoke to a member of the Committee on Ministry who told him that the newsletter could be on the bishop's desk, and when he received the application, he would intentionally not link the two.

So I sent in the application, which Ledlie and I whitewashed to some extent. There was a surprising, to me, amount of ministry work. But nothing about my involvement with Integrity, my activism with the Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights, being a founding board member of the Triangle Community Center, and of course, absolutely nothing about my relationship with Brian, which had ended about midway through my initial discernment process. In due course was scheduled for an interview with Bishop Coleridge, the Canon to the Ordinary, and newly elected suffragan Bishop Smith.

What they saw was a single man living his mother at the age of 37. I could tell him that my mother was uncomfortable living alone after my father died, but I couldn't talk about my recovery from and having nowhere to go after what was essentially a divorce. A great swath of my life experience hidden. It was quite clear by the "not yes, but not no" letter I received less than a month later that the Bishops and the Canon didn't think I was strong enough to survive the rigors of the process. Because of Bishop Coleridge's don't ask don't tell policy, they wouldn't know how much I had faced and survived before I walked into his office.

Brian and I separated 16 years ago this month. My being in discernment for ordination was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. He's now happily married to the man he's been with for several years. I'm still single. There are a variety of reasons for that, but the vast majority of those reasons have to do with being in the ordination process. Some men aren't willing to be involved with someone so deeply involved with the church. Some tried to talk me out of it. And I haven't been all that certain that I want to subject a significant other to the quagmire of the process.

In the last 18 years the Episcopal Church has come a long way, a slow long way, on the issues of its queer members. But it's still an issue to be queer in the ordination process.

It is still an issue.

Pride Day

2011-06-26T22:48:00.000-04:00

Traditionally the last Sunday in June is Pride Day--originally Gay Pride Day. Now June is Pride Month, although celebrations take place before and after June. This is the third of fourth year that I have not attended a Price celebration for a variety of reasons.

This year I planned on going to the Fairfield County Pride event sponsored by Triangle Community Center, but this year they planned a party with a $30 admission charge. Too rich for someone on unemployment! I was on the board of TCC when the organization took over the county's pride event, and i expressed my disappointment in what they made of it this year.

I thought about going into the City for today's parade, but I wasn't sure I was up to the travel and crowds. Instead I spent Pride Day at church, with my religious community. It was our bilingual service where both congregations worship together on the last Sunday of the month. We also had a work day and picnic. I was where I needed to be today.

Next year I'll worry about next year.

An Added Celebration for Pride

2011-06-25T20:16:00.000-04:00

The New York State Senate gave us a present for Pride Weekend. Marriage Equality is now on the books in New York, effective in 30 days. It didn't come without strings, however. It includes a religious exemption. Quite frankly, the bigots hiding behind their religion didn't really need the exemption, but it did get the bill passed.

New York becomes the sixth state with Marriage Equality on the books. New Jersey and Maryland didn't make it this year, and we're still waiting on the court decision on Prop 8 in California.

There is a long road ahead of us, but for today, we celebrate!

So Why Ain't* I Straight?

2011-06-24T19:05:00.000-04:00

Just when I think I've seen the last of it, I stumble across that old argument against openly queer people in positions of public responsibility. It is often most virulent where our school systems are concerned. The premise is that an openly queer teacher will influence our children and youth to become queer.

Really?

I went through my entire time in the Darien Public Schools without encountering a single openly queer teacher. Years later, I learned there were some queer teachers, closeted of course, but I was never in their classes. No teacher ever made an inappropriate approach toward me. No teacher ever even so much as hinted that there were queer people out there in the world. I was so naive that I didn't even know what was going on between a large number of my fellow students, in school, in spite of the watchful eyes of the teachers. Everything around me supported the heterosexual norms of society.

So why ain't I straight?

Because obviously, according to the conservative argument, someone in a position of authority or influence influenced my choices.

Male bovine droppings!

My brother actually had at least one of those closeted teachers in the classroom, and he's straight. I never did, and I'm gay. In fact, I didn't knowingly meet any openly queer people until I was in college, and the first one was actually younger than me. He never laid a hand on me either, except to cut my hair. We weren't each others' type. But he, even as effeminate as he was, showed me that there were many types of gay men. He was also one of the first people I knew to die of AIDS.

It's time to put this old, ridiculous, bigoted argument away. Our queer children and youth need positive role models. They need to see that there are all sorts of queer folks, just as there are all sorts of straight folks.

*A note to all my elementary school and English teachers: Remember that dictionary you were always telling us to look things up in? Ain't is in it! It's the contraction of "am not" and is more correct than aren't, even though it's frowned upon as a sign of being uneducated.

The Long And Winding Road - Part 2

2011-06-23T16:03:00.000-04:00

So after that afternoon experience on the Madison street corner, I did the next logical thing. I called the chaplain at Rockford College and made an appointment to see him. I planned on spending Homecoming Weekend with friends, so I was going to be there anyway. And while I had graduated the prior Spring, I still hadn't settled into First Congregational Church in Madison quite enough to know the clergy there yet.

David and I had a good conversation. He asked the right questions. And then he did two things. First, he told me I needed to go and have some life experience before pursuing a call to ordained ministry. As I traveled this twisted path, I learned that it was a common thing told to young adults of my generation (and those just before and just after) who expressed an interest in or a sense of call to ordination. "Go away and come back when you're older," we were told in large numbers. Of course, now the church is crying out for young clergy. I'll come back to that shortly.

The second thing David did was try to steer me into Christian Education. Back in the early 1980s, Christian Education was still primarily Sunday School and considered the realm of women in the church. Not that it made a difference to me, if I felt that had been my call. And ironic, considering my last professional position was with the Episcopal Church in Christian Formation.

When I did get to know the clergy at First Congregational better, I talked to them about my call, and they told me pretty much the same things David had. There were plenty of other things to do, and I remained active in the church.

Then I dropped out of graduate school because I couldn't find a job in Madison at that time (early 80's, bad economy). I came back east, spent a few months living with my parents while I got back on my feet, and started looking for a new church. That search took about five years.

I'm going to skip part of the journey for this post because I want to focus on the age issue.

Flash forward 12 years or so. I'd been in the ordination process for a few years. I hadn't been told "no," but neither was I being moved forward. Circumstances both at my parish and in the diocese caused delays. The parish got a new rector, and I was finally able to pick up the thread again. Bill and I had continuing conversations. He had difficulty seeing a call, I had difficulty articulating things with him. He expressed concern about the way my spiritual director was working with me, "Not the traditional method of spiritual direction." If I'd been quicker on the draw, I'd have told him that he wasn't exactly following the "traditional method" of discernment.

Eventually, he ended our conversations by saying that he really thought I was too old to be starting this process. It was the day before Ascension Day, 2002. I was 42. A couple of weeks later I went to Hartford to see one of my friends ordained to the Diaconate--she was part of a group of 12 heading for ordination as priests. As I sat there looking at the twelve I realized that 10 of those postulants were older than me, many by a good 10 years. Those 10 were also all women. The two MEN were younger than me. That message came through loud and clear.

So I've been caught at both ends of the pendulum's swing.

More about what happened in the middle later.

Picking up My Flute... Again

2011-06-22T22:12:00.000-04:00

It's been three months since I practiced, or even picked up the flute to play a few tunes. For some reason I felt like playing today. While it feels good in many ways, it's also frustrating to pick up after a few months of not practicing. Pieces that were close to being performance ready are once again a struggle. The daily scale exercises are a series of misfingered notes. It wasn't a total disaster. The short piece from Frederick the Great's 100 Daily Exercises that I started today actually fell into place pretty quickly. It's not perfect, but today anyway, my closet perfectionist is locked in the basement with Robert (of Robert's Rules).

I do like to pick up my flute and play music that I like--Taize instrumentals, traditional dance tunes, some of the baroque sonatas and other pieces that I'm drawn to. But practice is necessary to really play them well, especially the baroque sonatas. There's also a romantic piece (Donjon's "Pan Pastoral") that I'd like to get to the point of being able to perform. It takes me a lot of work with a metronome to get a piece to the point where I could perform it. Especially since I'm not taking formal lessons, and haven't in 25 years or so.

Performance and lessons. Those are the two things that would give me the structure to practice more regularly. Lessons will have to wait. I'd just started looking for a teacher when I lost my job. Until I'm working, and have built up some savings again, lessons will have to wait. Performing comes now and again, mostly at my church or an occasional gig at a wedding or memorial service. There are amateur bands and orchestras in the area, but there are more flute players than there is demand for them.

Ideally, it would be nice to find a couple of other amateur musicians to get together and play some chamber music. I've put out some feelers, but so far no response.

So I'll practice for a few days, and then off and on for a while. Followed by a fallow period. At least that's been the pattern so far.

And I'll keep my eyes and ears open for places to play.

Knit 3, Purl 3

2011-06-19T00:09:00.000-04:00

Two Saturdays a month a group of men and women gathers in the Memorial Room at Grace Episcopal Church. This is our Prayer Shawl Ministry. As a shawl is completed, it is placed in a cedar chest donated by one of the group. One Sunday At the end of the summer the shawls will be spread on the altar to be blessed before being sent to the local hospital for distribution.

The gathering is as much social as it is a ministry. Our deacon provides coffee and snacks. We begin arriving half an hour before the scheduled start time. Conversation flows. Today the big topic was yesterday's storm. Most Saturdays we are treated to our Music Director practicing for the next morning's service. Many of us stay beyond the scheduled end time.

Most of us knit. Some of us crochet. Some of us just come for the conversation and fellowship.

Knitting has a rhythm all its own. It's very different from crocheting, which I've been doing since I was 11. I crocheted the first shawl I did as part of this ministry. I decided I wanted to try knitting this second one, which meant relearning to knit. The pattern is fairly simple--knit 3, purl 3 over 63 stitches. I've pretty much mastered it, though I can see some of the mistakes back at the beginning of the piece. I've also reached the point where I can hold a conversation or watch TV without pausing the knitting. And if I run into a problem I can't figure out on my own, there are plenty of people to help me.

I'm already thinking ahead to the next two shawls I'll be making. Why two? Because the first will be crocheted and the second knit.

Or is that knitted?

The Long and Winding Road - Part 1

2011-06-17T13:10:00.000-04:00

It seems hard to believe that it's been nearly 30 years since that afternoon on a Madison, Wisconsin street corner. And it's been nearly 20 since I tentatively approached my parish priest about ordination. For those 20 years the path has been complicated by transitions: transitions in the parish, transitions in the diocese, transitions in the church as a whole, and transitions in my own life. Along the way I've watched numerous friends and acquaintances start and finish the ordination process. Some my friends, only half-jokingly, refer to me as a catalyst.

Along the way I've been blessed by some incredibly compassionate, wise, and wonderful friends. They've seen me through the sorrows and joys, defeats and victories, and the every day, one-foot-in-front-of-the-other walk through life. I hope that I have been as much to them on their own journeys.

Going through a job search involves looking through your past experiences to see where you've been and position yourself for the next leap forward. For the most part, that means looking at your professional life. But you can't ignore the rest of your life experiences. Sometimes you find that something outside your professional experience brings you to that next job. Sometimes.

Over the past six months, when people have asked me about ordination, I've responded by telling them that I've been pretty beaten up by the institutional church during the past few years, and this isn't the time to be making decisions about this particular path. However, that doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking about and reviewing the labyrinth of the past 30 years of discernment both in terms of my job hunt. In doing so, it's hard to escape also thinking about the future of the ordination path.

One foot in front of the other, carving out the path as I go.

Dictionaries

2011-06-11T21:21:00.001-04:00

One of the features I love about my Kindle is its dictionary feature. When I run across a word I don't know, I move the cursor to the word, and the definition appears at the bottom of my screen. No need to run to the shelves and pull out the big dictionary!

I grew up with dictionaries. As long as I can remember there was one in the house when I was growing up. The Christmas of my senior year of high school my parents gave me The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, so I would have one to take with me to college. I still have it. A few years ago when I decided I needed a more up-to-date dictionary, Mom gave me The American Heritage College Dictionary. I'll probaly get myself a new one in another few years because language changes.

As each of my brother's children graduates from high school, I give them a dictionary (I still owe the middle nephew one).

The summer between having to leave our first apartment because the lease was up and moving into our condo, Brian and I put most of our belongings in storage and stayed with his parents. One day I needed a dictionary, and there wasn't one in the house. I was flabbergasted.

Then there are misuses. I was a pretty good speller in elementary school. I could usually figure out how words were spelled by breaking apart how they sounded. But there were times I got stumped, and I'd ask the teacher. "Look it up in the dictionary," she'd tell me. Really? If I couldn't spell it, how was I going to find it in the dictionary?

One year I had a teacher who from time to time used the dictionary as a form of discipline. For some infractions you had to sit at your desk during recess and copy the definition of the word run. In most dictionaries that's at least a page of small print to be copied out by hand. Set usually has as many, or more, definitions in most dictionaries, but I don't remember being given any word but run to copy out. Maybe it had the most definitions in the dictionaries we had in our classroom. I wonder how many kids learned to hate dictionaries that year?

I always have my dictionary and my thesaurus by my side when I'm writing. Although I have to be careful because I can get sidetracked by etymologies, idioms, and other words and information. I'm an incorrigible researcher.

Some other time maybe I'll tell you about times I spent reading the set of encyclopedias in our house.

Straight Men Behaving Badly

2011-06-07T01:45:00.002-04:00

In case you missed it, Rep. Andrew Weiner (D-NY) held a news conference yesterday afternoon to admit that he had indeed sent the risque pictures of himself from his Twitter account.

Okay, he did something stupid. Then he lied about it, which only compounded the stupidity. He's not the first man to send or post questionable pictures of himself. And he's certainly not the first public figure to get himself into trouble for inappropriate sexual behavior. Remember any of these guys?

Larry Craig
John Edwards
John Ensign
Ted Haggard
Tim Mahoney
Mark Souder

With our elected officials, as soon as one of these scandals comes to light, whether the man is a Democrat or a Republican, the other party uses it to make political points.

I don't deny that gay elected officials have been involved in improper behavior. Gerry Studds and Barney Frank are just two I could name. However, straight men far outnumber gay men in the sex scandal department.

It's not just elected officials, either. Take a look at the "Casual Encounters" section for any city on Craig's List and see how many straight men are looking for homosexual sex and married men looking for sexual encounters of many different kinds. There are even a number of men who blog about it (Google it, they aren't hard to find).

And the self-named family values folks are worried about gay marriage threatening the sanctity of marriage?

I Passed. Could Sarah Palin?

2011-06-04T01:50:00.001-04:00

After reading about, and seeing, Sarah Palin get the story of Paul Revere's ride all wrong, I wasn't particularly surprised. But then I read the story, which I'd missed last week, of Representative Michele Bachmann's mistake, in a prepared speech no less, telling an audience in New Hampshire that their state was where the first shots of the American Revolution were fired. My surprise at that goof was topped moments later when I read about presidential candidate Herman Cain's campaign announcement where he quoted the Constitution as saying not only "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," but also "whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it." You will find neither of those phrases in the U.S. Constitution. They are both from the Declaration of Independence.

I'm beginning to think that the crisis in our public education system is even more serious than I previously believed. Otherwise, how could these three highly visible Republicans make such basic mistakes about our nation's history? Could these folks even pass the test given to immigrants wishing to become citizens of the United States of America?

So I went looking for sample Citizenship Tests online. I found several and took two. The first one I found on The Christian Science Monitor's web site. You can find a link to it in this article, which you might find interesting to read. (Be warned, the CS site seemed to run slowly for me, and it took quite a while for me to complete it.) I answered 95 of 96 questions correctly (99%). You needed to answer 58 questions correctly (60%).

The second test I took was here. (I was able to take this one in less than 10 minutes.) It included a question about Connecticut (you have to select your state of residence before it shows you the questions). I answered 46 of 50 questions correctly (92%), which means I probably moved to quickly through it given my score on the first test. At least one of the wrong answers was due to clicking on the wrong button! A score of 60% was needed to pass this test also.

The questions on the two tests were not identical, though there was a great deal of overlap. And some of the questions that were identical had a different right answer. For example, both tests asked you to name two national holidays, but in one the correct answer was "Labor Day and Thanksgiving," while in the other it was "Presidents' Day and Columbus Day."

When two darlings of the Tea Party make the kinds of mistakes Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann did in the past week, one wonders what Tea Party members themselves really know about the history of our nation and how it operates. Add to that Herman Cain's confusion about the two founding documents of our country, and one wonders about the Republican Party.

Hurricanes, Tornadoes, and Floods

2011-06-02T23:55:00.071-04:00

It is the second day of the official Hurricane season, and I've yet to hear any forecasts or predictions as to its severity. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) Climate Prediction Center (CPC) does have a 2011 Atlantic Hurricane Season Outlook on its website, but there has been nothing in the local and news outlets. I'm pretty sure that's because the space allocated to weather related news has been taken up almost entirely by the devastating tornadoes throughout the eastern half of the nation and the flooding in the Midwest.

News coverage of these events has not included any real discussion about global warming. But it is on everyone's mind, either to attribute the severe weather to it, or deny that global warming is an issue. Our climate has warmed and cooled over the centuries. Sometimes as severe enough to cause things like the Ice Age. Sometimes only enough to lengthen the growing season in traditionally cooler regions. But while the so-called global warming is probably part of that natural process, I most definitely believe we human beings have been helping it along more quickly and making it more severe than it might otherwise be. Between polluting our planet and trying to control water resources, we are damaging our habitat.

Here in the United States, as we've become a more urbanized culture, we've forgotten what it means to live with nature. Flooding rivers enrich the soil in their flood plains. We try to control the flooding, but we have to use chemical fertilizers to enrich the soil. And we still can't prevent floods. In fact, as recent events in Louisiana showed, preventing flooding in one area can mean deliberately flooding another.

And where did we get the notion that tornadoes don't happen in cities? I remember one Summer when we were visiting my grandparents in Chicago--I couldn't have been more than six or seven--when we stood on the back fire escape of their two-flat watching a funnel cloud skip across city rooftops in the distance. We probably should have been down in the basement.

Maybe we ought to be seriously rethinking how we live with nature.

Summer Is A...

2011-06-01T00:58:00.001-04:00

...Here!

I don't do well in summer weather. The heat and humidity sap my energy and make it almost impossible for me to sleep. Sunday night I broke down and turned on the air conditioner only to find that the air conditioner had broken down. It served me well for six years, summer and winter. I leave it in all year because I have no control over the heat in my apartment, and sometimes I needed the fan. But I definitely got my money's worth out of it.

Replacing it? A late birthday gift. Or maybe it's an early half-birthday gift. In either case, tomorrow Mom and I go out to buy a new one, which will probably cost less than what I paid for this one, be smaller than this one, and be more energy efficient than this one. Energy efficiency is a good thing because electricity costs more than it did six years ago when I moved into this apartment.

I wonder if I could hook a generator to my bicycle or the Nordic Track?

Summer is a time to slow down and catch up.

And maybe find a new job?

Thumbs Down on The Anglican Covenant.

2011-05-22T19:52:00.000-04:00

So this is what prompted the previous post.

Tobias Haller has been writing on his blog In A Godward Direction about the Anglican Covenant off and on. This particular post has been floating around the Anglican Blogosphere for a while. It's one of the ones I commented on. Here is his most recent post about the covenant.

I've been noodling around with a response to Tobias, but Elizabeth Kaeton managed to articulate it much better here on Telling Secrets.

The Anglican Covenant is a bad idea. Period. It is an attempt to draw circles and define who is in and who is out. Bad theology, bad policy, just plain bad. No amount of verbal juggling can turn this pig's ear into a silk purse.

Talking about Things Anglican

2011-05-22T15:02:00.000-04:00

So far on this blog I've refrained from delving too deeply into things Anglican. Originally that stemmed from the fact that I worked at The Episcopal Church Center, headquarters for The Episcopal Church. In fact, I took my previous blog, Telling Beads, private (friends and family only) because of a couple of incidents that happened in the wake of the first reorganization. A few months ago I moved some of the posts from Telling Beads to this blog, mostly because I wanted all of my posted sermons in one public place.

Now that I no longer work for the Church, I've been in recovery mode and have kept out of the public conversations about the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion. Not that I've ignored what's going on, I just needed time to readjust to not being so fully immersed in the institutional church. I've commented on other blogs now and again, but except for the No Anglican Covenant logo in the sidebar, I've stayed out of the larger conversations.

I started I'm Fluting as Fast as I Can in the wake of the 2009 National Flute Association Annual Convention. Its purpose was to chart my progress as I began to be more intentional about playing the flute. But there's only so much I can write about being an amateur flutist. Over time it became more of a general blog. I'm a whole person, and my blog should reflect that. For that reason, I've decided not to resurrect Telling Beads at this time. However, I reserve the right to change my mind!

So moving forward, Things Anglican will find their way onto this blog from time to time. Because of my past experiences in the Anglican blogosphere, I've added a comment policy to the sidebar. For now comments will remain unmoderated, but I will delete any comments that include insults, meanness, or flaming.

Once more into the breach...

Spring Has Sprung

2011-05-14T20:51:00.000-04:00

Although I can still hear it, I can no longer see the highway from my apartment. Until Fall strips the leaves from the trees, I will have to rely on traffic reports to know what's happening on this portion of interstate.

I've always lived in urban and suburban areas. Maybe that's why Spring always seems to sneak up on me, even as I am aware of flowers and budding trees. One day I look out the window, and suddenly everything is green.

Spring, the promise of new beginnings.

And yet, for most of my life, Spring has meant endings. Twenty-five years spent in academic settings, and an additional eight-and-a-half immersed in the rhythm of church program calendars. Spring is a time of taking tests, packing up, and leaving. Most of my relationships ended during the Spring months, including the only serious relationship I had with a girl when I was in high school.

Spring, a time of memories and ghosts.

But as the Spring rains wash away the debris left by Winter storms, I lift my face to the skies to let them wash across me and experience the wonder of life.

Typing with My Thumbs

2011-05-13T18:48:00.000-04:00

It's always interesting what classes taken in school turn out to be the most beneficial later in life. I graduated from college with a BA in French and German, yet the skills I've used most in my professional life came from a semester of Statistics and a semester of Spanish. But more valuable than either of those was the typing class I took when I was in 9th Grade at Mather Junior High School.

During college I earned extra cash typing classmates papers, and also saved the money I would have had to pay to have my papers typed. Those typing skills allowed me to adapt quickly to the growing use of computers in the workplace. I even taught word processing for a time. At my best, I typed about 125 words per minute accurately.

I watch my niece and my nephews working with their laptops, and it's a far cry form the touch typing I learned in high school. My niece took "keyboarding" in high school, but even what she does when she uses her laptop only faintly resembles what I do using mine.

Of course, these young folks aren't the only ones I've observed typing in a non-traditional way. My ex had cerebral palsy which left him with limited use of his right hand. He typed pretty rapidly with only his left hand. And he is a whiz with a calculator.

But back to the world we now live in, the one in which by niece and nephews have grown, and are growing, up in. Technology has changed the tools we use. Our cell phones now do even more than the Apple \\e's and IMB PC's did when they were first introduced. You can't touch type on a cell phone keypad, even if it has a full keyboard. You can't touch type on the iPad or any of the other tablet computers. You can't feel the letters on a touch screen. So we type with our thumbs or one or two fingers. Some can type pretty darn fast that way.

The other day I was searching Amazon.com for a particular book while using my Kindle, which also has a small keyboard. It has small, raised, button keys, and you can't touch type using it either. Because it's a device you can hold in your hands, thumb typing works best. I realized I've become pretty adept at thumb typing. I was about to say that it's not my preferred method of typing, but that's not really true. I use the method that works for the device I happen to be using.

And technology has already gone beyond keyboards and touch screens. Voice recognition software has been workable for over a decade. You speak, and the software types for you. Yesterday I heard a news story about a computer that worked on the user's eye movements.

Technology is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it feels like it's going faster than I can keep up with. In those moments I try to remember my grandparents' generation who went from horse-and-buggy to putting a man on the moon and beyond. And if Granddad were still alive, he'd probably have an iPhone and an iPad and be all over the whole social networking phenomenon.

In the meantime, however, I use what I have. This post was typed on my netbook with touch typing. Later I'll be typing with my thumbs on my Kindle to find that book.

Linus on Reading Paul's Letter

2011-05-09T09:27:00.000-04:00

Charlie Bown: Where have you been?

Linus: Church school. We've been studying the letters of the Apostle Paul.

Charlie Brown: That should be interesting.

Linus: It is. Although I must admit I feel a little guilty. I always feel like I'm reading someone else's mail!

--Charles Schulz

Re-Entry

2011-05-02T23:50:00.003-04:00

I didn't think I was going to be able to attend Dance Camp this spring. I just couldn't rationalize the expense as my financial resources continue dwinding due to this period of unemployment. A couple of weeks before camp, a friend called and gave me an incredibly generous and thoughtful gift: a scholarship to Camp. And over the course of the weekend five or six of my friends told me that if I ever need assistance to get to camp again, I'm to call them. Period. End of discussion.

I've been part of this incredible supportive community for nearly 20 years. We have enfolded each other in loving care during times of personal transition--beginnings and endings of relationships; deaths of partners, spouses, siblings, parents, and children; job loss, job hunting, and career changes; hurts and happinesses. It is a community that struggles with change. It is a place where hugs and cuddling are a regular part of life.

And of course, we dance.

Usually I take pictures of camp. Not this time. I brought my camera. I never took it out of its case. But I did do a five minute sketch.

(Sorry about the quality. I don't have a scanner, and I can't get quite close enough with my camera.)

When I am employed, I usually take the Monday after camp as a vacation day to ease the return to non-camp life. No such luxury this time. An ongoing issue with a project I'm involved in resulted in a day of flinging emails amongst the people involved. And the world is still reacting to President Obama's announcement of the killing of Osama bin Laden.

In spite of all of that, I've managed to hang on to an improved mood--not 100%, but much improved--and some fresh energy.

Laundry Day

2011-04-26T21:43:00.000-04:00

Dance Camp pretty much forced the issue. In order to pack in time to leave early Friday afternoon, Laundry had to be done today or tomorrow. In order to do laundry, I had to purchase laundry detergent. And as long as I was going out this morning to get detergent, I might as well run a couple of other errands. By the time I got home, it was after 11:00.

We have a saying in our family: Everythng is a project!

We have two washers and two dryers in our complex's laundry room, so you can imagine the time it takes to do five loads. So while they were going through their cycles, I opened up the windows and doors and did some light housework--mostly putting things away. What a difference fresh air, sunshine, and less clutter can make!

I turned the matress. I made a couple of phone calls that I've needed to make. I sorted out a couple of issues for organizations I belong to.

And then there will be climbing into a bed made with fresh sheets.

Knit 1, Knit 1, Knit 1...

2011-04-26T17:40:00.000-04:00

The last time I picked up a pair of knitting needles was to make a Christmas present for Honey, my maternal grandmother. It was my first real knitting project, a purse knitted from soft yarn, which I think was mohair. I remember sitting in the den working on it. I remember wrapping it. I don't remember anything about the actual mechanics of knitting. For years, Honey kept it in the bottom drawer of her dresser wrapped in tissue paper.

Sunday night, after finishing the purple and blue prayer shawl, I picked up a pair of knitting needles for the first time in almost 40 years and started reteaching myself to knit. I've become fairly adept at casting on.

And I actually got pretty good at the basic knit stitch.

The purl stitch and casting off, not so much.

I see more practice in my near future.

First One Done

2011-04-25T21:40:00.001-04:00

I finished the first of my contributions to the Grace Church Shawl Ministry.

As you can see, it's really more of a lap rug, but it will serve its purpose.

Double-crocheted using a P gauge hook, Caron 4-ply Acrylic worsted weight Deep Violet, Caron 4-ply Acrylic worsted weight Midnight Blue, and Red Heart 4-ply Acrylic Worsted Weight Soft Navy.

Easter?

2011-04-24T20:55:00.000-04:00

Officially Lent is over. In some circles, it was over last Sunday. In my case, as my spiritual director often says, my life seems to be Lent.

Attending church has been rote activity. My prayer life has been rote. I did take on a Lenten discipline, which involved a regular schedule of prayer several times a day using Phillys Tickle's The Divine Hours, Pocket Edition. Rote.

On the other hand, if it hadn't been for church/religious activities, I wouldn't have left the house this week. In fact, I probably wouldn't have got dressed at all. So I did leave the house at least once a day.

Monday - Passover Seder
Tuesday - Education for Ministry
Wednesday - Stations of the Cross
Thursday - Maundy Thursday supper and stripping of the altar
Friday - Good Friday service
Saturday - Easter Vigil
Today - Easter Sunday service

There are some exciting things going on at our parish, things I'm part of. But lately, attending services gives me a headache. The reason for the headache is good. Most services are bilingual because of our growing relationship with Iglesia Betania. The two congregations are gradually merging into one community. But operating in two languages (one of which is my fourth) when church has become a rote activity brings on a headache.

And going to church also means gearing up to intuit how much people who ask me how I'm doing really want to know. Screaming, "I'm unemployed, the economy sucks, and job hunting is a pain in the @##! How do you think I feel?" just isn't an option. Nor is advice about praying particularly helpful just now (see above,"rote").

Let's face it, this past week just plain sucked. The week coming up doesn't look much better.

The promise of Dance Camp next weekend should get me through.

TGIF

2011-04-15T23:45:00.001-04:00

Today was a do nothing day. I read. I took a walk. I did some journaling. I went to dinner with a friend.

Okay, technically, I did things. I just didn't do anything in terms of job hunting. Or the parish. Or household chores. Or any of the things on my To Do list.

Sometimes, you just need a day off.

Who Got Us Here?

2011-04-14T22:41:00.000-04:00

Grandmere Mimi's Let's Not Forget... post reminded me of something I'd seen just before the 2008 election. It was on the blog of Dan Roam, author of The Back of the Napkin and The Napkin Unfolded. While the title can be read a number of ways, and probably intentionally on Dan's part, the visuals are very clear. Dan writes:

Whenever I give a workshop, I ask in advance for a sample problem relevant to my audience, so that I can demonstrate the power of pictures in a context drawn from their real-world experience.

In this case, Doug supplied me with a thick set of economic data comparing eight years of the Clinton Administration with eight years of the George W Bush administration.

Go read Careful Senator, your politics are showing and pay attention to the charts.

Remind me again how we got to this budget standoff...

New Opportunities

2011-04-14T00:03:00.000-04:00

After the dry spell, a small deluge.

Today four friends forwarded three job leads to me. Two of them are church-related, and one of those is with an Episcopal organization. The third would take me back into the field I worked in when I was employed at Pitney Bowes. A couple of people who have been my sounding boards through this period of unemployment have noted that I talk about my time with Pitney Bowes a lot. So it may be worth pursuing that third lead.

Tomorrow I'll sit down take a closer look at the job descriptions. One of them isn't particularly interesting, even though I have the skills to do the job. While I am anxious to find new employment, I also don't want to get myself into a job that I don't particularly like.

This morning my Outplacement Coach and I began the process of putting together a search plan. Late in the game? Not really. It's still less than 110 days that I've been unemployed; less than 3 1/2 months. And for the first time in my professional life, I'm working with a Coach and not a firm or corporate consultant. It's a very different process. I find myself looking forward to my sessions and always feel more positive about things when we're done.

It is possible that I will find a position before I actually complete this coaching process. But what I'm developing now is a long-range plan. We've even talked about the NEXT job during this process.

I also have a couple of projects I'm working on for organizations I belong to. They're concrete. They have short term goals and objectives. They provide me with the opportunity to create some structure to my days during this time of upheaval and uncertainty. Not to mention that they look good on the resume.

Onward.

So Begins Another Week

2011-04-11T23:12:00.001-04:00

Monday's aren't that much different from any other day when you're unemployed. Even on Saturdays and Sundays you can network and send out resumes. But it's still a convenient way to track a cycle and keep to a schedule.

And it is the day I file my unemployment claim for the previous week.

Today marks my 101st day of unemployment. Just over three months, which isn't really that long compared to my previous periods of unemployment. In many ways I've had a more constructive time than in the past. I have a really good outplacement counselor. I have a better professional network than I've ever had. I've had job leads a lot earlier in the process.

That isn't to say that I don't get discouraged. So far very few of the leads have resulted in interviews, and none of the interviews have resulted in job offers.

But today is the beginning of a new week.

To prepare for the week, I sit down Sunday evening and go through my calendar. I transfer the coming week's meetings and major task due dates to the white board schedule. I put my To Do list on the small white board. It turns out that this is a busy week. The only day I have nothing scheduled--yet--is Friday. Saturday will be my busiest day with two meetings at church, a class, and probably dinner with friends.

And so begins another week. Another week closer to new horizons.

Second Weekend in April

2011-04-09T19:34:00.001-04:00

For the past few years, this weekend has meant a drive up to Southington with my friend Rees for one of the few (and some years, the only) Depression Glass shows in the area. After a couple of years of shrinking vendor participation, this year we found more booths than the last time we went.

This is what started it all.

I have eight of these that belonged to Grandma Harre. Rees saw them when I used them to serve dessert one evening at my apartment. Shortly after that she took me to my first glass show. It took me a couple of shows before I finally identified the pattern as Cambridge Glass' Elaine. Of course, it is one of the harder patterns to find! I saw three pieces at the show, only one of which I do not have, an ice bucket:

Needless to say, at $235, it didn't come home with me.

I did find one really spectacular deal, a set of eight Cambridge Diane champagne glasses for $55. Usually, the champagne glasses sell for about $20 each.

However, Diane isn't one of the patterns I collect, so they stayed with the dealer. The only other pieces that tempted me were an interesting relish tray and a purple-tinted Diane glass. Although neither was a pattern I collect, they were interesting enough that I considered purchasing one or the other. In the end, I bought neither. I did enjoy looking though.

After the show, Rees took me to lunch at Red Lobster in Danbury--a belated birthday lunch.

What better way to spend a beautiful Spring day than with a good friend doing something fun together?

Enough Already!

2011-04-09T00:12:00.000-04:00

So instead of actually resolving the issues, Congress has handed us an additional week's worth of public posturing and blame-gaming. How quickly can we hold a recall election for all 535 members?

What Were They Thinking?

2011-04-04T23:36:00.000-04:00

There was a period of time during my childhood when I wanted to be an architect. Floor plans covered almost every piece of paper I touched. About the time I started doing renderings of the exteriors, I lost interest. Drafting lessons in 7th grade shop class contributed, but primarily it was the discovery of how much math I'd need to study to become an architect.

However, I never lost interest in architecture. I have a basic grasp of most historical styles, though I am no expert. If a house or building intrigues me, and I can't identify its style, I'll do a little research.

This afternoon I was running some errands, and walking back to my car, passed this building.

I've passed it many many times, but today it really struck me. What were thinking when they built the addition on the front? You can clearly see the bones of the Italianate original.

You can see a little of what the original house looked like in this c. 1900 postcard of the Methodist Church. The house is immediately behind the church and has the cupola, which it lost at some point, that is characteristic of many Italianate style houses.

I understand changing needs of a town, even if I don't always like the results. It's just not possible to repurpose every building, and if you preserve every existing building, you end up with urban sprawl. That makes no sense in terms of economics or wise land use. But what's with the ziggurat roofline and the giant-sized window on the front of the blue monstrosity?

If you're going to expand a building to suit your needs, put some thought into it. About a block from the blue monstrosity is this law office.

Originally, this was two separate houses, both of which still carry historic markers. The house in the foreground is the c. 1867 Margaret and Amelia Belden House. The one at the far end is the c. 1863 Charles F. Sherwood House. A few years ago they were joined together with this central addition.

The architect also put some thought into what the rear of the new complex looks like.

These houses were near the original church building of my parish, Grace Episcopal Church. From this 1906 postcard of the Norwalk Library and Grace Episcopal Church, I'm gathering the houses were on the other side of the church. They survived the urban renewal projects that followed the 1955 floods, which the church did not. The current church building is down the block from the blue monstrosity.

Etiquette in the Job Hunt

2011-04-02T17:24:00.001-04:00

Today's mail delivery brought a letter from the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts. I wasn't expecting it, but I knew at once what it was.

"Thank you, but no thank you."

If they'd wanted to interview me, they would have called, or possibly, sent an email. I knew the position was somewhat of a long shot, and the posting did state there was a strong internal candidate, but I had nothing to lose by sending in my resume with a cover email. I figured if they were interested, they would contact me. If not, statistically, the chance of hearing from them was very small.

Some people blame today's economy and the overwhelming number of resumes submitted for any opening for the lack of response on the part of hiring managers/HR departments. Over the years I've been unemployed in bad economic times and in good economic times. This trend started long before the current recession. Letter writing takes too much time in leaner organizations. In the days of copy and paste and email, that excuse doesn't hold water.

At least some employers are honest. They state in the job posting that only qualified applicants will be contacted.

Even more frustrating, however, are the times when you've been interviewed for a position and then hear nothing. Until you find out from another source that the position has been filled. If you hear anything at all. This has happened a number of times during my last couple of job hunts.

Of course, applicants that don't send thank you notes or emails after being interviewed are considered rude. As Mr. Rogers might ask, "Can you say 'double standard'?"

Common courtesy never hurts, so I will continue to write thank you notes after interviews.

Neighbors?

2011-03-29T23:35:00.000-04:00

I don't get as much junk mail via the U.S. Postal Service as I used to. In fact, I don't get as much mail as I used to. How technology changes the world we live in.

Today in my mailbox I found a postcard-sized folder addressed to "Our Neighbor," with a return address in San Antonio, TX. It's a mass marketing piece from JP Morgan Chase Bank NA, which used to be Chase Bank, and before that Chase Manhattan Bank. I can walk to the nearest Chase branch in about 20 minutes, but does that really make it my neighbor?

The young woman who lived upstairs from me and offered me a ride to the station one morning when I was waiting for the shuttle to the airport, she was my neighbor.

The young couple I helped to shovel out their cars in our parking lot after one of our winter storms, they are my neighbors.

The member of my EfM group who drove me home several times when my car didn't work, and who I now take back and forth to class because her family is down one car, she is my neighbor.

The homeless woman I used to pass in Grand Central Terminal in the City for a number of years and wanted a hug and some conversation more than money and prayers, she was my neighbor.

But the branch of a large, multi-national, financial corporation?

But wanting to justify himself, [the lawyer] asked Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbour?’ Jesus replied, ‘A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell into the hands of robbers, who stripped him, beat him, and went away, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road; and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan while travelling came near him; and when he saw him, he was moved with pity. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, having poured oil and wine on them. Then he put him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said, “Take care of him; and when I come back, I will repay you whatever more you spend.” Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbour to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?’ He said, ‘The one who showed him mercy.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Go and do likewise.’ Luke 10:29-37 NRSV

Jesus is talking about people. People are our neighbors. JP Morgan Chase Bank NA may be in my neighborHOOD, but it is not my neighbor. Some of my neighbors probably work at the branches closest to where I live, but the bank is not my neighbor.

I receive many mass marketing pieces and advertisements in the mail that are addressed to "Our Neighbor," but for some reason, today I found myself incensed by JP Morgan Chase NA's presumption that it is my neighbor.

I'm a person, not a mailing address.

View from the Window at Midmorning

2011-03-21T23:12:00.000-04:00

When I woke up this morning, it was raining. A couple of hours later, while on a conference call, I happened to look out the window, and it was snowing! The second day of Spring, and it's snowing. Sheesh!

I took this picture from my window just after the snow changed back to rain.

This is the same window that I took the pictures of the moon, the droplets, and the icicles. I think I have the start of a series..

Full Moon in the Trees

2011-03-20T23:22:00.000-04:00

The Hands of Ministry

2011-03-19T23:53:00.001-04:00

Last month we began a Shawl Ministry at Grace Church. It is proving popular, and people are enjoying it. Some of us knit, and some of us crochet. We teach each other and assist each other, so not everyone was knitting or crocheting today. We share techniques and share stories as we work on our shawls.

These are the hands of our ministry.

Spring is Coming

2011-03-16T21:46:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up to rain, which stopped by mid-morning. A couple of hours later I looked out the window to see this:

These are the same branches that I photographed with icicles a few weeks ago.

Staying on Track

2011-03-16T01:17:00.030-04:00

My whole sense of time became discombobulated even before last weekend's change to Daylight Saving Time. Being unemployed, I have no set daily schedule. Being a night person, I now stay up later, and as a result, get up later in the morning. I can even lose track of what day it is.

However, a job hunt does call for some structure. So I use two white boards to organize my week.

The larger on is 11"x17", and I kept it in my office to help with brainstorming and project management. It now serves as my weekly schedule. I took this idea from Mom, who keeps a white board in the kitchen by the back door with the week's stuff on it. Even though I keep a calendar, having the week displayed prominently keeps me on track for appointments and major/regular tasks. The items in red are things I need to do every week. Green is for the current week, and blue (at least this week) reminds me of things that take place in the future but that I need to be aware of in order to make sure they get done.

The smaller one is 8.5"x11", and I used it for a variety of things at home. It has become my daily To Do List. Sometimes I find I need to list things that should be habit, part of my regular routine. For instance, this week I started putting taking a walk and practicing my flute on the list. Some structure is necessary, even if only minimal, otherwise things seem to fall by the wayside. Even things I like to do.

Today, well, technically it was yesterday, since it is after midnight, but I haven't been to bed yet, so for me, it's still "today". Today, I finished everything on the To Do List, except for one item that requires an answer from another person. I even took care of a couple of things from tomorrow's list. Providing myself with some structure helps me manage things more effectively. And not just the job hunt.

At some point in the near future, I will have a new job. Of course, that will mean readjusting to keeping more regular business hours. No more staying up until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning and sleeping until 9:00 a.m. or later.

In the meantime, my body clock should adjust to Daylight Saving Time in another couple of weeks.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Discombobulated has been part of our family vocabulary for years, but I think today is the first time I've ever spelled it correctly. I always thought it was "disconbobulated." Thank you, Spell Check! (Although, as I did today, I do sometimes verify what Spell Check tells me by looking up the word in the dictionary.)

Who Are the Elders and Wise Ones in Your Life?

2011-03-13T23:30:00.000-04:00

This morning I led the fourth in a series of Sharing Our Stories sessions at my parish. I have a variety of exercises in my repertoire to help folks think about, record, and share their stories. Today I introduced the group to Spidering, also called Clustering, Mindmapping, Webbing, and a handful of other names. Often they're used as pre-writing exercises, but sometimes they can simply be the tool used to record.

We used the clusters to explore Elders or Wise Ones in our lives. Several members of the group were surprised at some of the memories the exercise triggered. Here is mine:

The emerging theme I saw, at least today, was one of people who supported and encouraged me, who nurtured my gifts and my interests. Many of them also taught me that hard work and fun are not incompatible. In a country that prides itself on its legacy of the Puritan Work Ethic, that is not an inconsiderable lesson.

Mom tells about her experience with the clustering here on her blog.

After everyone who wished to had shared, I passed out prayer cards that I'd made with cross images on the front and blank on the reverse. On the blank side we wrote the names of the elders we remembered and prayed for them as part of our closing prayers. This is a practice I learned from my friend Trudy. I find it's a good way to tie our stories to the greater story and to bring a session to a close.

As I did today, I will sometimes use both "Elders" and "Wise Ones" because not everyone who fills that role in our lives is actually our elder in terms of age. Some are peers, and some are younger. Teachers come in many guises.

And don't forget that we are Elders and Wise Ones for others.

For the Elders and Wise Ones who have been in our lives, for those who are in our lives now, and for those yet to enter our lives, thanks be to God.

We're All Musicians

2011-03-10T23:24:00.000-05:00

Teacher and performer D. Brian Lee has posted "Why instrumentalists should sing" on his web site.

There are times when I've been in institutions or organizations where singers were not considered musicians. Sometimes it was a matter of semantics, but at other times, it was considered a truth. I've never understood what I've always considered a false dichotomy. I've sung for as long as I can remember, and I've played instruments off and on since I was eight, beginning with the violin and including a stint with the guitar. When I played the guitar I was somewhat aware that playing an instrument made me a better singer, but it really hit home when I started playing the flute at 16. And I've sung in choirs where I was aware that my vocal practice made me a better flutist.

Some of us are instrumentalists, some of us are vocalists, and some of us are both. We are all musicians.

Trees at Twilight

2011-03-08T09:16:00.000-05:00

One of the first things one of my friends told me when she learned I'd lost my job was, "Make sure you get out of the house every day." Wise words from a wise woman. Most days I do.

Yesterday I went to the local Barnes & Noble to have a cup of coffee, read, and people watch. As evening came I happened to look out the window across the parking lot and saw the bare trees silhouetted against the twilight sky. I thought "I wish I could capture that, but I just don't draw well enough." Then I remembered I had my camera with me.

Too Similar for Comfort

2011-03-07T23:04:00.000-05:00

Rep. Pete King

Sen. Joseph McCarthy

I'm not sure what Rep. King's goals are, but let us not forget Special Council for the Army Joseph Welch's words to Senator McCarthy: "Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?"

What I'm Reading

2011-03-05T23:09:00.000-05:00

What I'm currently reading, is near the top of the list on my Kindle, and/or have out from the library:

German: the Biography of a Language, by Ruth H. Sanders
The Old Patagonia Express: By Train Through the Americas, by Paul Theroux
A People's History of the United States, by Howard Zinn
Richard and John: Kings at War, by Frank McLynn
Titanic: The Death and Life of a Legend, by Michael Davie
Transatlantic: Samuel Cunard, Isamabard Brunel, and the Great Atlantic Steamships, by Stephen Fox
Warriors of God: Richard the Lion Heart and Saladin in the Third Crusade, by John Reston, Jr.
Zephyr: Tracking a Dream across America, by Henry Kisor

What I've read over the past two-and-a-half months:

Murder at the War, by Mary Monica Pulver
Mahu Men, by Neil S. Plakcy
Intrigues, by Mercedes Lackey
Mary Ann in Autumn, by Armistead Maupin
One for the Money, by Janet Evanovich
Gwenhwyfar the White Spirit, by Mercedes Lackey
Language Visible, by David Sacks
Portrait of a Lady, by Diane a. S. Stuckart
The Sleeping Beauty, by Mercedes Lackey
Council of the Cursed, by Peter Tremayne
Lord of the White Hell (Book One), by Ginn Hale
Dissolution, by C. J. Sansome
The Mosaic of Shadows, by Tom Harper
Booked on the Morning Train, by George F. Scheer III

And conversely, what I'm NOT reading: What's in my To Read pile (and on my Kindle) that keeps finding it's way to the bottom of the pile:

Always We Begin Again: The Benedictine Way of Living, by John McQuiston II
Christianity: The First Three Thousand Years, by Diarmaid MacCulloch
From age to Age: How Christians Have Celebrated the Eucharist, by Edward Foley
A History of the Church in England, by J. R. H. Moorman
Jesus Wars: How Four Patriarchs, three Queens, and Two Emperors Decided What Christians Would Believe for the Next 1,500 Years, by Philip Jenkins
Narrative Leadership: Rediscovering the Life-Giving Nature of Stories, The Alban Institute
Storycatcher: Making Sense of Our Lives through the Power and Practice of Story, by Christina Baldwin
Thieves in the Temple: The Christian Church and the Selling of the American Soul, by G. Jeffrey MacDonald

There's a pattern here, and it is deliberate. I'm quite enjoying reading travelogues, mysteries, science fiction, fantasies, and anything not church-related for the moment, thank you.

Drive Like An Old Lady

2011-03-04T17:49:00.002-05:00

I got my car back today. Almost three months and $2,000 worth of work later, and it runs again. It's been in the shop only a week. The two-and-a-half month wait was procrastination on my part (I had a feeling it would be an expensive repair) and the chain of winter storms. While $2,000 takes a large portion of my severance, it could have been worse. And the car runs better than it did before.

I have done all right without the car because I'm lucky enough to live in a location where pretty much everything I need is within walking distance. Almost everything else is accessible by public transportation. Not quite as convenient as using my car, but doable with a little advance planning. Friends and family were good about helping out when the weather was bad, or I needed to do some major shopping. It saved me some money, too, as I've watched gas prices soar over the last three months.

I'll probably continue to walk to church, the bank, the library, and a few other places. I'm also going to make an appointment to take my bicycle in for an overhaul. I used to get around almost exclusively by bike or on foot until I was 23.

But having a working car is extremely helpful in the middle of a job search. And I'll feel less isolated because I'll be able to visit friends and not have to worry about when the buses and trains stop running. Plus I'll be able to get to board meetings that are three or more hours' drive away.

Did I tell you how relieved I am to have my car running again?

The problem was what I thought it was. The timing belt went, and it took out the valves when it snapped. The most frustrating part of the situation was that two days before the belt snapped I'd made the appointment to take the car in to have the belt and the water pump looked at. You'd think they'd design car engines differently, since this is a common problem.

Because the valves have essentially been replaced, the service manager said it would take about 200 miles of easy driving for them to settle in. I asked him if that meant no highway driving. He said, "No. You can drive on the highway. Just drive like an old lady. No rapid accelerations or driving over 80 miles an hour."

Obviously, he doesn't know the same old ladies I do. One of my friends celebrated her 100th birthday last summer, and she's still zipping around in her little car. And not just to church on Sundays. The only thing she can't do is drive at night.

Nor is it just old ladies. I see just as many old gentlemen driving like the stereotypical old lady. Puttering along at or below the minimum speed limit on the highway. Slowing down for a turn long before the car reaches the corner. In other words, being cautious because their reflexes aren't what they used to be.

Eventually, for most of us, there comes a time when we shouldn't still be driving. I hope I'm smart enough to turn in my keys when I reach that point. Or at least have someone in my life who loves me enough to take them away from me.

And You Think I Live in A Small Space?

2011-03-01T11:54:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I live in an approximately 450 square-foot apartment in a converted Victorian. There's only so much stuff you can accumulate when you live in a small space. Occasionally I find myself purging the apartment either to fee up space for something new, or because I have one of those "I have too much stuff" moments. Another purge looms in the near future, but probably not until I have a new job and can make decisions about what resources I need and which ones I can pass on to others.

There are times when I wish I had a larger home. It would be nice to have a separate bedroom so that the computer desk, the TV and the bed weren't all in the same room. And the clothes closet isn't in the dining room. And to have room for books. And a place to display my Depression Glass collection. A home large enough to entertain more than one or two friends at a time. My current dream home? A one-bedroom cottage on a postage stamp yard.

Well, there is the Victorian mansion over on Fairfield Avenue that I've loved for years...

Then there are times when I think I would be perfectly content to continue living in a small home. Easy to keep clean (I can give my apartment a thorough cleaning in less than three hours). Less tendency to let things pile up. Besides, how much space does one person really need?

One of the blogs I read regularly is Tiny House Blog. Today's entry from Matthew Hoffman describes his 160 square-foot living and working space--on wheels. I'm not sure I could manage 160 square feet, but here's one that has a 280 square-foot footprint with about the same amount of living space as I currently have.

Here's one that's 64 square feet designed to provide shelter for folks without homes.

Hmmmm...

And how difficult would it be to build some like these to provide affordable housing?

Food for thought...

What's Wrong with This Picture?

2011-02-26T23:33:00.000-05:00

I went to Mom's for dinner this evening, since my brother and his middle son were back from their college visit in Boston. We had a wonderful meal of stuff-your-own baked potatoes. She cooked both the potatoes and the pulled pork in crock pots. Delicious!

After dinner Bill went up to rest, and the rest of us were sitting at the dining room table, as the family often does after a meal. Out came the computers and the books.

Mom on her new iPad playing tiles.
Scott on Jimmy's laptop playing Hearts.
Me on Mom's laptop playing Spider Solitaire.
Joe, the 12 year-old, reading his new book.
Jimmy, the 17 year-old doing English homework with pen and paper.

I wish I'd had my camera.

Passing on The Stories

2011-02-26T00:15:00.000-05:00

When I was a child, extended visits with my Harre grandparents always meant spending some time with Grandma looking at family documents and pictures that she kept in one drawer of her dresser. She'd tell me stories about her family and Grandpa's. Unfortunately, by the time I was old enough to realize that I should be recording the stories in some way, both of us had forgotten most of them.

Third quarter of my freshman year in college I took a 20th Century U.S. History course. The professor selected only one textbook for the class that took adifferent approach to exposing students to the history of our nation. It's one of the few college textbooks I regret getting rid of. It covered the usual facts, figures, social trends, political movements, etc. But each chapter of facts was followed by a chapter that told how they affected the lives of several families, including two that immigrated to the United States during the 20th Century. For our term paper, the professor asked us to interview relatives and write a history of our own families in the 20th Century.

And so I became the official family historian. My niece Michaela called me for help with an eighth grade project. She asked some questions, and I printed out a Register Report for the Harre side of the family for her. Her brothers John and Jimmy each called in their turn when they had the same eighth grade project.

When Joe, the youngest, and I chatted online a couple of weeks ago, he asked what I knew about the family history. I wondered if he had the same project, even though he attends a different parochial school than his older siblings. No, he responded, he was just interested. We made plans to spend time together while his father and older brother visited a college in the Boston area.

Joe asked questions about the Harres, the Hilsmanns, and the Bancrofts. We did some poking around on Ancestry.com looking at a collateral branch of the family. He learned to fill out a Census form gathering data on the Charles Harra family from the 1880 Census. With some practice under his belt, he tried looking for information on his mother's side of the family. We didn't find very much, and I told him he needed more information about his Dougherty grandparents. I printed out some simple forms to help him talk to his mother, aunt, and uncle and gather the information he'd need to start digging further. I also printed Register Reports for the Harres, Hilsmanns, and Bancrofts for him to take with him.

Oh, and I showed him some of the same family documents Grandma showed me all those years ago.

Even if he decides that genealogy isn't his thing, the fact that Joe was interested in spending some time with Uncle Older Guy to learn about our family made for a nice day.

The Local Library

2011-02-24T23:13:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I walked to the Norwalk Public Library. Not only had I read all the books I'd borrowed, they were several days overdue. $2.40 overdue. I came home with four new books.

I've been going to the local library for as long as I can remember. When I was growing up, Tuesday was library night because it was the one day the library was open in the evening. After dinner we would get in the car, drive to the library, return the books we'd finished, and get new ones. My brother and I both participated in the summer reading programs. My first job was as a Page at the Darien Public Library, and I knew the Dewey Decimal System backwards and forwards. It was quite a shock to go off to college and have to learn the Library of Congress cataloging system.

Libraries have changed a lot since my time as a Page. I've watched the catalogs move from cards filed in banks of drawers to computer systems. But there are still slips of paper and pencils for patrons to jot down the information they need to find a book on the shelves. Music collections have migrated from LPs to cassette tapes to CDs, and now some collections are available digitally. Movie and television show collections have made a similar journey, although there were no video tape collections until I was in college, and then only limited ones.

And computers. More and more libraries have computers available for patrons to use. That is a vital community service. Computers are often the first place researchers begin these days. Unfortunately, it's the only place for some. If it's on the Internet, it must be true, and it must be everything there is on a subject. We aren't doing a good job of teaching our students to think critically. But that's a post for another time.

Libraries remain a primary place for conducting research. Many periodicals and genealogical records are still on microfilm, and the only place to read microfilm is at a library that has microfilm readers. Libraries make it possible to access hard to find books and other printed materials through interlibrary loans. One of my childhood memories is of Mom and her projects. If there was something she wanted to know about or figure out how to do, off she went to the library. She built a solar oven. She taught my brother and I how to fix our own bicycles. And when I came out to my family, one of the first things she did was go to the library and find every book she could about homosexuality, lesbians, and gays.

Libraries have long been places for community gatherings and events. In the last few years, some of the larger bookstore chains have made themselves those kinds of places for their communities. While these bookstores had financial and advertising resources, local public libraries have endured budget cuts. Yet they have remained important gathering places for their communities. And now we watch as the digital age begins to impact the large bookstore chains the same way they impacted the small bookstores. Now in Chapter 11, Borders is closing some 275 stores.

Our public libraries have adapted with the times, and they will continue to do so. We must continue to support them and urge our city governments to do the same.

The Bush Burned with Fire

2011-02-13T17:50:00.000-05:00

The second Sunday of every month my parish offers Practicing Prayer for adults. It is part of, and actually predates, our Religious Education for All Ages, which takes place on the second and last Sundays of every month. We chose that particular name because "Sunday School" and "Christian Education" are perceived as being only for Children, and "Christian Formation" isn't a phrase or concept that many of the members of our continually evolving church community recognize or fully grasp yet. The name is a work in progress that suits our needs in the current moment.

Back to Practicing Prayer.

Sometimes we talk about ways of praying. Sometimes it's about how prayer works in our lives. Sometimes we ask for prayers for ourselves and others. Sometimes we might not recognize what we do as prayer. Always we pray together.

Today was the second in a series of sessions we call Sharing Our Stories. In the first session we shared stories about our Baptism. This morning I pulled a table to the middle of the room and put on it crayons, colored pencils, four-color pens, white paper, lined paper, and some sheets of assorted colored paper. I opened the with the following collect, written by my Education for Ministry group when I was a Year 3 student (and I have permission to share):

Gracious Creator of the world, whose Son shared our human experience, and whose spirit abides in each of us: Grant us the ears, the heart and the patience to hear each others' stories and to understand the disappointments and hopes that are part of our lives, So that we can see your presence at work in our lives, learn to trust your guidance in all that is yet to come and be open to receiving hope through the blessing of your lovingkindness; Through Jesus Christ our hope and salvation, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, One God, now and for ever. Amen.

Then I went over the ground rules necessary to make the group a safe place where people can feel free to share as much or as little as they wish. I explained that there are many ways of recording our story, and today we were going to draw, sketch, or write about a time when we felt God's presence in our lives. To get us started, I read verses 1-18 of Psalm 139 while they started. When I finished reading, I started on my own drawing using crayons.

After 15 minutes or so, we reflected on what it was like to put our stories on paper using the right side, the creative side, of our brains. And we shared as much of our stories as each of us was comfortable sharing. There were some powerful stories, which I cannot share. But I can share my own story.

The particular incident I chose to put to paper is a story I've shared before, including in a sermon, which I'll quote here, since it's as good a version as any:

It happened when I was in graduate school in Madison, Wisconsin. It was one of those perfect Fall days. There are days even now when the sky is just the right shade of blue, or the smell of the leaves will take me back to that day. I was standing at a corner waiting for the light to change so I could cross the street. Suddenly—or at least it seemed very sudden—everything seemed to be sharper, brighter. Even now the logical part of me wants to try and explain the sensation away as a cloud moving away from the sun, or a shift in the way I was standing so that I was no longer in the shadow of a building. But I don’t think it can be explained away that easily. Then along with that sharpness, that brightness, I became aware of a message—it wasn’t exactly words that I heard aloud or in my head. It said, “I need you. You have a ministry in my church.” And then just as suddenly, it was just another Fall afternoon on a Madison street corner...

Over twenty years later I am still struggling with the implications of that experience, and what it means to minister in God’s church and in the world. I have come back down the mountain and shared the story, sometimes with ease and sometimes with unease. I have been blessed by many people over the years who listened to my story and told me theirs. Together we are finding the many ways to live out God’s call to us.

Today was the first time I used art to explore this particular part of my story. As I looked at the drawing, getting ready to share with the group, I realized that moment on the street corner was my burning bush.

"...and the bush was blazing, yet it was not consumed." (Exodus 3:2, NRSV)

In the 30 years of living with and discerning the meaning of that message, there have been times when I felt like the bush and times when I felt like the fire. And sometimes I've been burned. And sometimes I've burned. Sometimes William Tyndale; sometimes Henry VIII. Sometimes Mary Dyer; sometimes Captain John Evered. Sometimes the Pequots and Wampanoags; sometimes the English colonists. The Tiananmen protesters; the Chinese government. Intentional and unintentional.

"...and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed." (Exodus 3:2, KJV)

I learned a long time ago that I'm not perfect. I can only hope that the general thrust of my life has been, and will continue to be, in the direction of hope, healing, reconciliation, and justice.

I struggle with what it means to be a Christian in today's world. I struggle with what it means to pursue a call to ministry in God's church. And I struggle with discerning what the full meaning of that call is. That can only be done in community. Sharing stories.

"The bush was blazing away but it didn't burn up." (Exodus 3:2, The Message)

Cooking for One

2011-02-10T22:05:00.000-05:00

When the time came for me to head out on my own after college, my parents gave me a cookbook called Cooking for One. I was perfectly capable of cooking. Give me a cookbook, and I can cook just about anything. I've even made spaghetti sauce from scratch in an electric skillet. Cooking for one person, however, involves a bit of thinking about portions, cooking time, etc. If I remember correctly, the book even talked about shopping for one.

I haven't had that book for years. I think I left it behind when Brian and I separated. I figured he'd need it more than I would. He wasn't helpless in the kitchen, but the extent of his cooking skills at that time were boiling and microwaving pre-packaged meals.

Lately I've found myself thinking about that book. As I said, give me a cookbook, and I can cook just about anything. Not that I need the cooking instructions, but sometimes I could use the help with meal planning.

Let's face it, cooking for one is a waste of time and energy. You can prepare a meal for four or six in the same amount of time. So a lot of the time I end up eating a very similar, if not identical, menu every day.

But it's not just cooking for one. It's getting the car to the shop. It's having someone watch out for you when you're hospitalized. It's a myriad of little things that become bigger things when you're a single person.

I'm fortunate. I have family living nearby and plenty of friends always willing to help out. I do the same for them.

I still cook for one most days.

And The Answers Are

2011-02-08T23:04:00.000-05:00

The Sudan. As part of the peace agreement to end the civil war, an election was held in January to determine whether the southern part of the country would remain as part of the existing nation or form a new one. The results, officially announced this week, are overwhelmingly in favor of independence. They have less than six months to divide resources, firm up the boundary, and take care of the myriad of details that come with the partition of a single nation into two.

How quickly we have forgotten the Jasmine Revolution in Tunisia. The president may have fled the country, but he took millions in assets. The search goes on for him and members of his family. Protests still continue, and the future is very unsettled for Tunisians.

As if the earthquake and the recovery efforts were not enough for the struggling nation of Haiti, former dictator "Baby Doc" Duvalier arrived last month. Now former President Jean Betrand Aristide also plans to return.

This is Myanmar, which most of us know as Burma, if we remember it at all. The military dictatorship there has a long history of human rights violations.

Gay rights activist David Kato was murdered in Uganda late last month. The official police report says he was killed in a robbery. Given the government's, and most churches', animosity, this is unlikely. And we may never know the whole truth. Lesbian, gay, and transgender Ugandans continue to live in fear.

When the child abuse scandals rocked the Roman Catholic Church in the United States, many church officials claimed it was an aberration peculiar to the U.S. churches. Last year stories of abuse began breaking across Europe. Allegations touched even the current Pope. In Belgium, there have been new allegations regarding children in institutions run by nuns.

And this final map shows poverty levels around the United States.

So do we really need to spend so much air time on how Christina Aguilara messed up the words of the National Anthem?

While Egypt Is in The Spotlight

2011-02-07T20:55:00.000-05:00

Egyptians continue to protest the government of Hosni Mubarak. Their struggle for freedom remains one of the top news stories, rotating through the headlines with Christina Aguilera flubbing of "The Star Spangled Banner" at yesterday's Super Bowl and the weather.

But there are other stories. Stories once in the headlines that no longer capture our attention. Stories that are no less important than Egypt. And certainly stories that are more important than Ms. Aguilera's flub.

Can you identify these maps and what ongoing news stories are connected to them?

Home Again, Home Again

2011-02-05T23:24:00.000-05:00

There is something about sleeping in your own bed.

Whenever I leave for a trip, one of the last things I do before departure is put clean towels in the bathroom and clean sheets on the bed. It feels good to slip between clean sheets after a day of traveling.

Today's trip home was easy compared to Monday's trip to Charlotte. I was able to check in for my flight at the hotel after lunch. The shuttle ride to the airport took about half an hour. I got to the airport in plenty of time to eat a leisurely supper and then get some work done for the NAECED board.

There was a brief delay leaving because catering forgot a piece of equipment for the plane. We still would have arrived early because of the tail wind, but we ended up in a holding pattern as the rerouted arrival vectors for incoming flights at LaGuardia due to deteriorating weather conditions. In the end, we arrived on time. A quick phone call to arrange for transportation home, followed by a short wait, a 40 minute van ride, and I was home.

In spite of the weather, and there were a lot of travel stories shared at the conference, no on missed the conference because of it. The only absences were due to illness.

This morning's schedule was breakfast at 8:00, Eucharist at 8:30, workshops at 10:00, and lunch at 11:45. I attended Vicki Garvey's "Biblical Family Values: Not." It was a humorous and informative romp through the Bible following the threads of participants' remembering family incidents that are there.

After lunch, several of us sat in the lobby of the hotel waiting for our rides to the airport. It felt good to just sit and talk.

And so I am home. I will probably have some further reflections on the conference tomorrow. But for now, I'm going to enjoy sleeping in my own bed.

Mister Secretary

2011-02-04T23:40:00.001-05:00

It's been a cold and rainy day here in Charlotte. I can't believe that I'm going to say this, but I think I would prefer snow. There's something about cold rain that seeps into your bones in a way snow doesn't.

The Tapestry Conference is in full swing. We started with a breakfast that actually included a protein choice--a change from past conferences. Yes, we do read the evaluations after every conference.

The morning consisted of our first workshop sessions and the NAECED Annual Meeting. We elected three new board members to replace retiring members, and we elected new officers.

Here are the new Secretary and the new President:

Lisa Flores, who was my predecessor as Secretary is now our very capable President. She and I already have an excellent working relationship.

Here are incoming President Lisa Flores and outgoing President Debbi Rodahaffer:

Debbi has been a thoughtful and pastoral leader who has helped the board evolve and grow as we've navigated the waters of a growing and changing organization. Fortunately for us, Debbi still has a couple of years left of her board term, so she will continue to be a loving, outspoken, and treasured colleague on the board.

She gave each of the board members a small gift. When she handed me mine, she commented that a necklace probably wasn't the most appropriate gift for me. Along with the card in my bag was a Louisville Slugger hat (Debbie is from Louisville). Did I wear hats? Yes, Debbi, and this picture is for you:

It wasn't until much later, when I was rearranging things in my brief case, that I found another small package tucked inside the gift bag. It held a magnet that reads "Dream" and small set of black and silver Anglican Prayer beads.

Here is the 2011 NAECED Board:

Standing, L-R: Jenifer Gamber (Vice President), Lyle SmithGraybeal, Andrew Kellner, Lisa Flores (President), Kellee Wattenbarger (Conference Chair), Emily Given, Debbi Rodahaffer, Kathy Graham, and Vicki Garvey.
Sitting, L-R: Malinda Harris (retired; Board Advisor), Laurie Bailey (Treasurer), Cathy Ode(retired; Board Advisor), Wendy Barrie, Jeffri Harre (Secretary), and Lisa Kimball.
Missing: Julia McCray-Goldsmith (retired; Board Advisor).

I look forward to working with this great group of talented and knowledgeable folks during the coming year.

Because I needed my computer to take notes at the Annual Meeting and the afternoon board meeting, I used my new briefcase (a birthday present) to carry things around today. It's a Lands' End Lighthouse Deluxe Briefcase. I've used their canvas Square Rigger briefcases over the years and really loved them. On occasion I've even packed for a weekend trip in one. However, if I end up with a job that requires more travel, I thought the Lighthouse Deluxe might be more practical. It has a lot of pockets, a detachable inner sleeve for a laptop, and a zipper that opens to provide a couple more inches of space. I'm still learning the best way to use all the pockets, and occasionally I end up hunting around for something because it's not where I thought it ought to be. I've had it less than a week, but this trip is proving to be a good test run. So far, I really like it. Thanks, Mom!

Conference sessions ended at 3:00 this afternoon. The board met briefly before returning to the hotel. Back at the hotel, I stopped at the Charter Tea sponsored by the Formation Team of the Episcopal Church Center to engage conference attendees in conversations about the Charter for Lifelong Formation.

After the tea I caught up with one of the members of the Council for Lifelong Formation (formerly the Episcopal Council for Christian Education). She had a gift for me from the Council: a large sketch book and a set of colored pencils. They wanted to let me know how appreciative they are of my work with them and say goodbye. I will miss these folks, but I'm sure our paths will cross as we all move into the next stages of work within the church.

I went out to dinner at one of the local brew houses with Krisan. We had great conversation and a lot of laughter over a leisurely meal. It was nice to catch up and see where our journeys are taking us.

Tomorrow is the last day of the conference. We end with Eucharist followed by a box lunch. I still have to pack, and there's more going back with me than there was coming down here.

Welcome to the 2011 NAECED Tapestry Conference

2011-02-04T01:58:00.000-05:00

The board began its day having breakfast with the board of the National Organization of Episcopal Resource Centers (NOERC), the other organization that participated in the planning and implementing of the conference.

We ate at Mert's Heart and Soul, which is next door to the hotel and is only open for lunch and dinner. One of our members is friends with the owner, so we were special guests for a scrumptious breakfast of salmon cakes, bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, cheese grits, spicy home fries, and biscuits. No conference business was discussed. It was a time for the two groups to get to know each other better.

After breakfast, NOERC had some Resource Center specific activities while the NAECED board and the conference planning team went to St. Peter's Episcopal Church, the host parish for the conference.

We also set up the registration table in the lobby of our hotel, the Holiday Inn Center City. At the registrations table board members were handed foam tiaras.

Well, we are in the Queen City!

At the close of registration, we hosted a welcome reception in the board room on the 14th floor. Following the reception we walked to St. Peter's for dinner and the keynote presentation.

Sheryl Kujawa-Holbrook, our keynoter, is Professor of Practical Theology and Religious Education at the Claremont School of Theology. Prior to her joining the Claremont faculty, she was Academic Dean of Episcopal Divinity School. Before that she was the Director of the Ministries with Young People Cluster at the Episcopal Church Center. Her presentation was entertaining and informative. Hopefully, we'll have a copy on the web site in a week or so. I'll also find a better picture!

One of the great things about conferences like this is seeing friends we haven't seen in a while. Here I am with Krisan Lamberti from the Diocese of Southeast Florida.

It's late. Actually, it's early Friday morning, so I'm off to bed. More later.

A Morning Walk

2011-02-03T00:04:00.002-05:00

When I arrived in Charlotte in the middle of the night on Monday, the taxi drove past a statue that I could only see in silhouette given the late night lighting. It reminded me of the illustrations of Fairy Godmothers based on 18th Century costume. When I went for my walk Tuesday morning I found that the statue stands a block from the hotel. It is a statue of Queen Charlotte, wife of King George III, for whom the City of Charlotte is named. Which of course, explains the 18th Century dress.

By most accounts, North America's last English Queen was not an attractive woman, and the sculptor has not tried to pretty her up. The plaque with the statue talks about her good qualities and her benevolence. What little local history I've read over the past couple of days says that while King George was not popular, Queen Charlotte was beloved.

A little further from the hotel is the intersection of Trade and Tryon streets, which is the heart of the city. On each of the four corners stands a statue representing an aspect of Charlotte's history.

When arriving at the square, visitors will notice the four giant sculptures standing on each corner of Trade and Tryon by artist Raymond Kaskey of Washington State. The statues are titled "Transportation," "Future," "Commerce," and "Industry."

Transportation is represented by a railroad worker holding a hammer in his hand.

The figure of a woman holding a child represents the Future of the city of Charlotte.

Commerce is symbolized by a gold miner spilling money on the head of a banker. The face of the banker is modeled after Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan.

Industry is represented by a woman in a bonnet, symbolizing the mills and early industry of the area. The child peeking from her skirt suggests past child labor.(Quoted text from the 101 Independence Center web site. Photos by me.)

There are many more sculptures, statues, and murals scattered throughout the downtown area. These are the ones that drew my eyes during my walk this morning.

This morning's walk was much pleasanter than yesterday's. The sun was out, and it was much warmer, even with the wind. Today was also the last day I will be able to take a leisurely morning walk.

The Tapestry Conference begins tomorrow afternoon. For those of us on the NAECED board, we begin tomorrow morning with breakfast with the board of the National Association of Episcopal Resource Centers. After breakfast the conference planning team and members of both boards will do the remaining set up we need to complete before the conference. I have a very full schedule for the next three days.

The Democrats Are Coming!

2011-02-02T07:38:00.001-05:00

Since yesterday morning the city of Charlotte has been abuzz with the news. The 2012 Democratic National Convention will be held here. From my visitor's perspective, the downtown area seems ideally set up for such an event. Charlotte had been on the list of prospective cities for the 2012 General Convention of the Episcopal Church, until Convention chose to return to Indianapolis.

But for most of the nation, the Democratic National Convetnion is a tiny blip on the radar screen. The massive winter storm has been the major cities for the past couple of days, with the protests in Egypt taking a close second. Followed by whether or not the Groundhog will see his shadow (Punxsutawny Phil didn't).

And for those of us here for the NAECED Annual Tapestry Conference and Annual Meeting, the storm is definitely high on our list. Will people be able to get here--inlcuding some of our board members and speakers?

It's always a risk holding a meeting during the winter. I remember people questioning the decision to hold Will Our Faith Have Children? in Chicago in February. No one would be able to get there because of the weather. As it turned out, getting to Chicago wasn't the problem. The last day of the conference, a major blizzard closed airports along the East Coast from Washington, DC northward. Some of us didn't get out of Chicago for two days after the end of the conference.

But for those of us here setting up the conference here, we have plenty to do other than focus on the endless winter storm updates. Registration begins tomorrow afternoon. While we are so far ahead of where we've been in past years in terms of preparation, there are all those little things that can't be done until the last minute.

The clock is ticking.

And speaking of clocks, this is the view outside my hotel window. I couldn't tell what it was when I checked in, but looking out the window while working at the desk yesterday morning, I saw what it was.

It's a giant sundial.

Getting Out of Dodge

2011-02-01T11:07:00.000-05:00

It's a cold and rainy morning here in Charlotte, North Carolina. Although, it's not as cold as it is at home. It was 14 degrees when I left New York last night, and it was 39 when I landed in Charlotte just before midnight. I wasn't supposed to be here until late tomorrow morning.

I've been keeping an eye on the approaching storm since late last week. I told my friend Den to lay off the Viking Snow Dances. Sunday evening I started watching the US Airways website for Travel Advisories.

By yesterday morning, it was pretty clear that the storm was headed our way. It didn't look like it would be bad until Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. Still no Advisory from US Airways. But since the weather forecast was for ice staring Tuesday night, I figured I'd probably end up flying out late Tuesday afternoon. I decided I'd better get the laundry done.

Mom arrived just as started folding the laundry. She dropped by to deliver my birthday present (a new brief case that she wanted to make sure I had for this trip) and take me down to our priest's Open Table at the local Dunkin' Donuts. About a minute later, the alert from US Airways went up on their web site.

The scramble began!

Mom went by herself to meet Lois as soon as it became obvious I wasn't going to be able to meet with them. First I called the hotel reservations system to make sure they had a room available for the extra nights. Then I went online to change my ticket. I ended up having to call the airline because the online system screwed up my reservation. In spite of the looming weather, I only had to wait five minutes on hold before a representative was available to sort out the problem. I booked a seat on the last flight of the evening from LaGuardia to Charlotte. With the new ticket in hand (or at least in email, how things have changed since the first time I flew in 1977), I called the hotel again and booked the room.

Arranging transportation to the airport, however, proved to be complicated. Because I had less than six hours before I needed to be at the airport, my usual shuttle service couldn't book me. Nor could my back up service. Nor the second back up. Fortunately, Mom and Bill said they could get me there, if it came to that.

Packing was a frantic affair. Usually, I have my packing list done days ahead of time, but I had planned on finalizing it yesterday and packing today. Do you think I could find my list? I made a new one as I packed because I like to keep one with me in case the airline misplaces my luggage. Even when I pack carry on. You never know when the airline will make you check your bag because they've run out of room on the plane. A couple of things were still damp, but they would survive a short time in the suitcase before being hung up again once I got to the hotel. If I forgot anything, Charlotte isn't the middle of nowhere. I can run out and buy what I need.

In the middle of this, our new deacon called. Sally and I arranged the call on Sunday, so we could figure out why she was having trouble accessing the parish Outreach blog, which she is taking over. She asked why I sounded rushed, and I explained the situation. She offered to do the blog another time, but quite frankly, it was good to have something else to focus on besides worrying about the abruptly rescheduled trip. We got everything taken care of in less than an hour, and I was done packing by 5:00.

Mom and Bill picked me up at 7:20, and I was through security by 8:30. That gave me a chance to eat a light supper and send out a couple of emails. I let my Education for Ministry group know that I was on my way to Charlotte early because of the impending weather. Even though they can meet without me, their mentor, if necessary, I cancelled tonight's meeting because it was pretty clear that the storm wasn't going to miss us. It's the third time this month we've had to cancel due to weather.

We boarded our plane on time, but we took off 30 minutes late. First, they boarded some flight crew members going home to Charlotte. They filled up the four empty seats. We didn't pull away from the gate until 15 minutes after our departure time. Then the inevitable taxi, wait, taxi, wait, taxi...

We arrived in Charlotte just before midnight, and I was in my room by 12:40 this morning. It was the right decision. And as long as I'm here, I'll be able to help the conference team with set up.

I can't remember a winter when we've had this many storms one right after the other. Especially with this much snow and no thaw and melt in between. Roads are getting narrower. Sidewalks, even those people have cleared, are buried under plow-created snowbanks. Parking lots are shrinking, which is the reason Lois' Open Table moved from the Starbucks on Westport Avenue to the Dunkin' Donuts on West Avenue. Roofs are leaking, and some are in danger of collapsing. Schools are running out of snow days. People are getting weary of snow.

Yet it IS winter. The weather is not something we can control. And neither can our municipal and state governments. On the other hand, it seems many municipalities could have done a better job of planning. A lot of us could have done a better job of planning, too. And we all need to be flexible. The ability to be flexible, after all, is what made it possible for me to get to Charlotte ahead of the storm!

Norwalk Walks of Shame

2011-01-28T19:16:00.000-05:00

I had an interview in New York City this morning (it went well for those of you who are keeping track), and when I got back to Norwalk, I walked home from the South Norwalk train station. My route took me along Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive and then up Fairfield Avenue to Cedar Street. I turned right on Cedar and followed it across Reed Street where it becomes Stuart Avenue. At Connecticut Avenue I turned right and then left onto Woodbury Avenue, which takes me to the back drive of the parking lot for my apartment.

As I've written before, the state of sidewalks this winter leaves a lot to be desired. I've started taking pictures and creating a Walks of Shame. Including individual pictures of the unshoveled walks along my route would take up a lot of space, so I've created an album of the pictures with captions of their locations.

These 43 pictures were all taken between 3:15 and 3:45 this afternoon, more than 24 hours after the last snowstorm.

Here are today's Walks of Shame:

Thinking about Reading Schripture Through Other Eyes

2011-01-27T16:48:00.000-05:00

We're still waiting for transcripts of the presentations from last week's Trinity Institute Theological Conference: Reading Scripture Through Other Eyes. While I took notes, I'm sure I missed a lot, especially during Gerald West's bible study on the last day. It will probably be a couple of weeks before we see the transcripts.

In the meantime, I've been poking around the blogosphere to see what other participants thought about the conference. Here is what I've found so far:

First, the live blogging done by Nicole Seiferth at Trinity Wall Street: Reading Scripture Through Other Eyes. It includes photos and video clips.

Faithvictoria's Blog: The Trinity Institute Conference

Episcopal News Service: Scholars, theologians gather to consider Bible through others' eyes, by Mary Frances Schjonberg; reposted on several blogs and news sites.

Land of Rest: The Bible

Fr. Jonathan's Blog: Trinity Institute: Reading Scripture through other eyes

Building Faith: Reading Scripture Through Other Eyes; Sharon Pearson of Church Publishing, who was not able to attend but discusses some ways to use materials from the conference to look at scripture in your own congregation.

For the usual so-called Orthodox spin and comments, here are posts from blogs I rarely look at. I have not yet seen one from someone who actually attended the conference. So far their wrath seems to be based on Mary Frances' article.

StandFirm: Pre-Packaged Interpretations - That’s the Whole Problem.

Midwest Conservative Journal: Party at Walt's!!

The Primates in Dublin

2011-01-26T23:31:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure anyone really cares except for those of us who are Episcopalians and Anglicans, but the Primates of the Anglican Communion are meeting in Dublin this week. It's early, and they haven't had much to say so far. According to the first briefing:

Before the Primates attended Night Prayers, Archbishop Rowan gave a short reflection on primatial leadership using the text of Mark 10:35-45.

An interesting choice on the Archbishop's part. Mark 10:35-45 reads

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him, ‘Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.’ And he said to them, ‘What is it you want me to do for you?’ And they said to him, ‘Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory.’ But Jesus said to them, ‘You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?’ They replied, ‘We are able.’ Then Jesus said to them, ‘The cup that I drink you will drink; and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared.’

When the ten heard this, they began to be angry with James and John. So Jesus called them and said to them, ‘You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.’*

Last week at the Trinity Institute Theological Conference Gerald West led us through a short version of Contextual Bible Study, which has been used extensively in South Africa. In this method of study, the group also looks at the passages immediately preceding and immediately after the first one.

The passage right before the Archbishop's selection (10: 32-35) is Jesus telling the twelve what will happen when they get to Jerusalem (arrest, condemnation, crucifixion). The passage immediately following it is the healing of Bartimaeus (10:46-52).

I wonder what the Archbishop would have said about primatial leadership had he looked at the larger context. And after my experience at the conference, I wonder what the Primates themselves would have discovered if they had engaged the scripture this way?

= = = = =
*New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright 1989, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Hazardous Walking

2011-01-25T23:39:00.000-05:00

This morning I walked down to church to meet with our priest-in-charge. It was still snowing, and walking was a little slippery. Even though we had more snow than expected, it really only coated the piles and piles we have from the previous storms. And it is the accumulations from those previous storms that make it hazardous to be a pedestrian in Norwalk and, I'm sure, in other communities throughout the Northeast.

But it isn't the snow itself that makes for hazardous walking. It's where the snow still sits. On sidewalks. The Department of Public Works issued a snow removal policy, which can be found here. The portion relating to sidewalks says:

Per City ordinance, Norwalk property owners are responsible for keeping all sidewalks along their property clear of snow and ice. The City clears only sidewalks that are not abutted by private property. Keeping in mind that snow plows will push street snow onto sidewalks, it is advisable to clear sidewalks after the plows have finished your street. Do not throw snow from sidewalks back into the street.

Many homeowners have not shoveled the sidewalks in front of their properties. Here 5 Union Park, which is two building west of Grace Episcopal Church.

This is the walk in front of the building taken Sunday, more than four days after the previous snowstorm. It looks pretty much the same today, except for the additional two inches of snow from this morning's precipitation.

This is Union Park itself, looking west up toward Van Buren Avenue, also taken Sunday. This particular section of sidewalk is "not abutted by private property," which means the city is responsible for clearing it. I don't see a clean sidewalk.

This is Maple Avenue near Berkeley looking west toward the hospital. Again, walks the city should have cleared that still remain covered by snow and ice more than four days after the last storm.

Here is the bike path where it crosses Maple heading toward Union Park. The bike path is cleared, but the sidewalks aren't? I know some bicyclists ride in the winter, but not very many.

A lot of people walk throughout the winter. Yet the sidewalks are not cleared everyplace. So we have to walk in the streets where slippery conditions increase the possibility of being hit by a car, truck, or bus. So why hasn't the city cleared the sidewalks for which it is responsible? Or not enforced the ordinance requiring property owners to clear the sidewalks abutting their property?

It may be time to start publishing a Walk of Shame!

A Full Week

2011-01-23T20:29:00.000-05:00

Last week I commuted into the City four days out of five. Four winter days. Four days of train malfunctions and delays. I do not miss that part of the daily commute!

Tuesday I had a job interview, which went pretty well. That trip also gave me a chance to visit with some of my former Church Center colleagues, and I came home with some additional job leads to follow up on. All in all, a productive day.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I attended Trinity Institute's 41st Annual Theological Conference: Reading Scripture Through Other Eyes. I was able to attend because I'd been asked to facilitate one of the small groups. It was both exhilarating and exhausting. Walter Brueggemann, need I say more? I'm waiting for the transcripts to be posted, because my notes just don't do the presentations justice. To get a taste for what we heard and saw, check out the conference blog.

The icing on the cake, so to speak, was running into friends, both new and old. Several of the facilitators were folks I went through EfM mentor training with last August. Another facilitator was someone I know from my involvement with Integrity Westchester. I finally met in person someone I've known through Facebook because of our professional networks. And then there were two friends from Pennsylvania who I have not seen face to face in longer than any of us care to think about.

Tomorrow it's back to the job hunt. Every day is one day closer to my new job--wherever and whatever it is.

Wanderlust

2011-01-18T23:47:00.002-05:00

A couple of days ago the latest TravelSmith catalog arrived in the mail. They have a variety of products designed to help frequent travelers cut down on the amount of stuff they need to pack and still dress appropriately for a number of occasions. Occasionally, I have actually ordered from it for my own travel needs. Once every few months, the arrival of the catalog prompts me to visit the One Bag web site.

But mostly, the catalog sparks a bit of Wanderlust. I want to pack up my carry on, grab my passport, buy a ticket, and head off to someplace new. There are still parts of Ireland I want to see (for Christmas one of my nephews gave me a book about bike touring and Irish History for Dummies). There's a bike trip from Vienna to Prague I'd like to take. Not to mention parts of my own country that I still haven't been to.

I'll be saving my pennies for a while. In the meantime, maybe I should go to the library and check out one of Paul Theroux's books.

Sharing Faith and Hope

2011-01-15T22:04:00.000-05:00

Over at Episcopal Cafe there's a discussion on about whether or not gays and lesbians should debate scripture. It's based on this article at the Religion Dispatches site, which was in response to this article on The Huffington Post. It's an interesting discussion, and I think a great deal of it hinges on the definitions of argue, debate, and discuss, which is a post for another time.

What caught my eye was Jay Michaelson's opening paragraph in the Religion Dispatches piece:

It is tough, lonely, and occasionally dangerous to be an LGBT religious activist. Fellow queers think you’re an apologist for an oppressive system, or that you haven’t yet gotten over your guilt about being gay. Religious people think you’re nuts, or evil, or worse. And you have to be told, time and time again, that your love for your partner, lover, or friend is no different from someone’s lust for a sheep. I think our work is saving the world, but it definitely sucks at times.

From the perspective of my many years of dealing with these issues, Michaelson has hit the nail on the head. Those of us who are both LGBTQ and Christian are often scorned, chastised, and even excluded by both communities. There are times when I tire of filling the role of token LBGTQ person in my congregation. And equally, of being the token Christian in in many LGBTQ circles. Let me tell you, ardent LBGTQ activists can be as nasty and hurtful as the most right-wing fundamentalist Christian.

I do have short answers for both situations:

LBGTQ Critic: How can you belong to such an intolerant organization? Why don't you leave?
Me: How can you live in such an intolerant country? Why don't you move to Denmark or the Netherlands?

Christian Critic: How can you so flagrantly disobey God's Law?
Me: When you're keeping all 613 mitzvot come back, and we'll discuss it.

That usually ends the conversation. Especially since both types of folks really aren't interested in conversation.

However, I don't believe in shutting it down interaction with someone who disagrees with me simply because we disagree.

Quite frankly, I probably wouldn't be a Christian today if it weren't for one evening during my senior year of college spent sitting with a college friend on his dorm room floor as he walked me through Paul's Letter to the Romans. Tom was a member of Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, as were a number of my college friends. Occasionally, they invited me to their meetings, and I attended once or twice. Those meetings made me uncomfortable, in no small part because I was in the midst of Coming Out. I don't remember how Tom and I ended up having that particular conversation, but it probably started with my trying to explain to him just why I was uncomfortable with their meetings. I also don't remember much about our conversation except that he presented Romans 1:26-27 in a way that emphasized the sin rather than the consequences and treated the consequences presented as part of Paul's rhetoric. It was an eye opening conversation for me.

Nor would I have as great an appreciation for the Eucharist if I hadn't attended a workshop given by Bishop Jeffery Rowthorn, with whom I often disagree where LBGTQ issues are concerned. A few years later I had the opportunity to tell Bishop Rowthorn how much that workshop taught me and what it meant to me. He seemed genuinely touched. In spite of our differences.

And then there are the times when a conversation about Christianity begins with an LBGTQ person where I am called to listen. The church, in all its forms, has inflicted a great deal of pain on us. Including on me. It still does. So I listen, and if appropriate, offer the faith and hope of my own experience. Sometimes, a seed is planted.

Sometimes a seed is planted in me.

Someday I hope I can tell Tom how much fruit our conversation bore and continues to bear in my life.

A Printed Flute

2011-01-15T13:35:00.001-05:00

Yes, you read that right, a printed flute!

While puttering around on the Internet, I found this article: 3D-Printed Flute Is Here; 3D-Printed Stradivarius Next. There are some issues, but it's still pretty amazing.

The flute took around 15 hours to print and was printed in four separate pieces which were then assembled later. Zoran designed the Flute using a CAD program, then sent the CAD drawing to the printer.

A little poking around found printed 3D architectural models, shoes, a skateboard, and even a motorcycle.

If you want to know how 3D printing works, check out this Wikipedia article.

The Quantz Sonatas are here!

2011-01-13T21:16:00.000-05:00

A year-and-a-half after I first heard about Rachel Brown's Urtext* edition of Quantz flute sonatas, they arrived in today's mail.

As a member of the National Flute Association, I've known about Rachel Brown for a number of years, but I did not have the opportunity to see her perform until the 2009 NFA Convention. She presented a lecture/recital of sonatas written by Johann Joachim Quantz for Frederick the Great of Prussia. During the lecture portions of the program Rachel spoke about the court of Frederick the Great and some of the history and gossip of the period. She talked about visiting the collection and seeing the original manuscripts of the sonatas. She also announced that she planned to publish an edition of the sonatas with facsimiles of the originals. The first run, she told us, would be by subscription.

Later during the convention I had the pleasure of meeting Rachel and spending a few minutes with her. We talked a bit about playing the flute (of course), history, and her plans to publish the sonatas. I gave her my email address and expressed an interest in subscribing.

A year later, I received an email from Rachel informing me that the sonatas were ready for publication and inviting me to subscribe. I'd been uneasy about subscribing because of what it might cost. On the other hand, how often do I have the chance to be a patron of the arts? As it turned out, the subscription less than $100, which I could afford at the time, so I was pleased to be able to play a small part in getting the sonatas published.

They were due to be released on November 19 in conjunction with a launch concert at the Royal College of Music in London. You can read a review of the concert here at the Chamber Music Today blog. However, there was a delay at the printer with the folders, and they mailed the music to subscribers in December. Mine was postmarked December 11, and even via air mail, it took over a month to arrive. Perhaps the winter storms played a role.

But now both volumes are here. Each volume contains six sonatas with three scores (two containing both the flute and cello parts printed together and one for keyboard) and the facsimiles. Rachel has written fairly extensive performance notes that are readable, interesting, and usable. They include sections on accidentals, rhythmic alteration, tempo markings, articulation, grace notes and trills, ornamentation and cadenzas. In the near future she will have an extended performance guide online at her web site. The keyboard realization of the figured bass is by Terence Charlston.

I particularly appreciate that Rachel chose to print the flute and cello parts together in the same score. In the performance notes she writes:

The flute and figured bass parts are presented together, as Quantz demanded. Apart from the obvious advantage of better ensemble through following each other's parts, this offers many other benefits, chiefly, that it allows for a better understanding of the harmony and all of its implications.

I've never understood why most editors and publishers print the flute and keyboard parts together in the keyboard score but print the flute part alone. I'd much rather see the other musicians' parts while I'm playing. Besides, it makes it easier to find your place, if you get lost. And I have lost my place during performance. That's why I usually play from the keyboard score, even if I have to enlarge it!

I haven't yet read through these with my flute, but that gives me something to look forward to as I savor the scores and text.

*Urtext: n. The original text, as of a musical score or literary work. [Ger: ur-, original] (from The American Heritage College Dictionary, Fourth Edition, 2002)

Now We Are One and Fifty

2011-01-12T17:41:00.001-05:00

When I was little birthdays meant a decorated chair, ice cream for breakfast. and cupcakes for my classroom at school. As I got older, toys gave way to more practical presents, like electric typewriters. Yes, I'm old enough that I actually used a typewriter to type my papers for school. That particular typewriter helped me earn extra spending money during college by typing papers for others.

I got carded for the first time on my 19th birthday. At that point in time, 19 was the legal drinking age in Minnesota. The next year found me in Illinois, where the drinking age was raised from 18 to 21 right before my birthday. The year after that my friends threw me a major party that was memorialized in the yearbook (how many college students can you fit on a twin bed?).

For my 33rd birthday Brian and I spent a long weekend in Newport, RI. Dad had died the previous November, his mother three weeks after that, and I needed to get away. I spent my 34th birthday sitting at LaGuardia Airport waiting for a flight to Nashville that never left because of a snowstorm.

The big 4-0 resulted in a party planned by a friend that turned out to be more for her birthday than mine. For the last five years or so, a small group of us gets together and plans some sort of surprise day trip or special dinner for each birthday. Last year, for my 50th, they worked with Mom to plan a big celebration. This year, we'll be doing a combined Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, Birthday party later in the month. We just couldn't find a mutually convenient date in December for the holiday party.

So today, on my 51st birthday, I spent a quiet day at home. I took pictures of snow. I dug out the non-functioning car (yes, I still have to get it into the shop). I took more pictures. I continued hunting for a job. A group of my former colleagues gathered together and called me to sing Happy Birthday with much joy and laughter. And many many friends posted good wishes on my Facebook wall. All in all, not a bad day.

1-11-11

2011-01-11T23:11:00.001-05:00

Or 11-1-11, if you prefer the European method. The first time I remember being aware of dates like this was during the summer I spent in Germany as an exchange student: 7-7-77. That was also the summer Elvis Presley died, and I suddenly became the local Elvis Expert simply because I was the American in Vallendar am Rhein at the time.

So in honor of the date, here are 11 bits of trivia about me. In no particular order. Just for fun.

1. I can fumble my way through conversations with varying degrees of fluency in four languages other than English: French, German, American Sign Language, and Spanish.

2. Being the unofficial family genealogist enabled me to help my niece and two of my nephews with eighth grade history projects.

3. I was a first soprano until I was 15. That made for an interesting 8th grade musical when I sang higher than both the other leads--an alto (female lead) and a baritone (1st male lead).

4. I never intended to stay in Connecticut after I returned from college in the Midwest. Life happens.

5. My favorite Halloween Costume: my junior year of college when four of us dressed up as the Fruit of The Loom guys (I was Leaf). We won first prize in the contest at a local gay bar.

6. My 9th grade yearbook lists Math Whiz under my picture. Little did they know Mom spent hours and hours with me at the kitchen table helping me with my math homework.

7. I've worked for eight different employers since graduating from college. I've been laid off from all but one of those positions. "It's the economy."

8. I had nine different bosses during the eight-and-one-half years I worked at the Episcopal Church Center.

9. I got my first bicycle when I was 5. Without training wheels. It took me so long to learn how to ride it that the whole neighborhood cheered when I finally managed it. A bicycle was my primary mode of transportation until I was 23.

10. I edited the Rockford College literary magazine, The Feast, my senior year. I don't know how many readers caught on to the fact that we organized it around biblical themes--that's just the way the submissions we received that year worked out.

11. I wrote (and played) a flute descant for "The Wedding Song" for my brother's wedding that was favorably critiqued by professional musicians. (Hey, I had to mention the flute someplace!)